Darth Disney

My brother recently took a trip to Thailand. It was a glamorous trip, something like I would have very much wanted to do in an earlier life, myself--before kids.   Sunset beaches, great scenic wonders, age-old architecture and artifacts...It was by all counts a great trip, and I know he enjoyed it.

This winter,  we took one of those once-in-a-lifetime vacations like my dad used to take us on when we were growing up.  I will be writing about aspects of that vacation for a long, long time. For this post, I am going to address just one tiny facet of the Disneyland experience. Since I am a Star Wars fan, I was one who went into mourning when Disney bought the rights from Lucas. I did not see how any good could come of that. As we wandered around Disneyland, I noted that Disney has the rights to just about everything, and that list is growing. (I'll write on that again sometime when I feel more political.)

When we did find the Star Wars presence at the park, the force was not strong with us. It was the third day in Disneyland, and it was raining. It rained so much, they canceled the Jedi Training Academy! Like Clark Griswold, I found such a closing intolerable, and I hunted down the nearest Jedi robe-wearing teenaged Disneyland employee to give her a piece of my mind. "Rain? Rain trumps Jedi?" I said. "Well, when it lets up, will there be another show?" To which, the Disney Jedi curled her lip and reprimanded me: "We don't do shows, sir. This is a training academy...but stick around, because some of us are already in costume so we're going to do pictures."

We now have a good number of pictures of our kids with punk kid Jedi Knights, Storm Troopers and Darth Vader. Those are all keepsakes that made that day less drab. However the best picture of the whole day, perhaps the whole vacation, was the one below, however, for it documents my lovely daughter in her truest form, hissing and snarling at Darth Maul.

If one is unfamiliar, hissing and snarling are Ellison's way of repelling strangers. She does this subtly sometimes with just a hiss under her breath or a growl only the animal kingdom can hear. With Darth Vader and others, she gave her best Navi hiss, but when she encountered Darth Maul, it was a hiss/snarl-fest. (She was NOT at all afraid, which is what some people interpret from the picture. Maybe he was.)

I can't wait to blow this up to poster size for her 18th birthday party!

O' Cap'n, my Captain

This picture is one of my favorites for it captures three big influences on my life. I've written elsewhere here as to how Shatner is my surrogate father. Stewart's got a great command of stage and screen--heck, even his voice overs are powerful.

But Nathan Fillion--that man IS the captain of choice. Mal Reynolds. Part pirate, part captain, underneath it all a Sargent and sailor and in spite of himself, a swell guy. Throughout the series, Firefly, he says variously that he's a bad guy, a rascal, a mean old man, destined to a special hell...but in my books, he's the imperfect hero we all want to be.

If the scene above were real, not photoshopped or a joke in a wax museum, I am certain both of the Star Trek captains could take direction from Mal. I know I do.

Reboot

With what now do I amuseth myself these days?

Unfortunately, too often it's work by day, home economics by night. In the years this blog went dormant, I gained some mastery of exercise, animal husbandry, and I'm well into writing my first young adult literature novel. I've gotten traction and a team of experts to help in the arduous task at work of faculty development. 

But home/free time amusement? I like entertaining questions my kids raise, like the other day they were razzing me about bird seed. If you plant it, will it grow birds? If birds eat it, aren't they then cannibals? Even in asking this, they were giggling, all of us knowing how ludicrous it was, and at the same time knowing I would give the subject exhaustive coverage in over-the-top speculation.

 I comb over home improvement books like bridezilla does the latest issue of Bride's magazine. I lay awake at night debating over cantaloupes or watermelon in the garden of the year. I imagine myself at the helm of a wicked cool roto-tiller that would make even Tim Taylor envious.
 

 And thanks to a friend who's not shy at calling me out to help me improve, I'm spending ample time circling the horsepower around the idea of going public. He suggested I have lots to share and that I'm doing a disservice to others by keeping it to myself. That may sound like a license to blather, but I hope to put it to better use.

 There's no way I can resist returning to my good ol' blog now, especially when coupled with this article on Showing your Work. Here's to a fresh start!

On Stranger Tides

All good things must come to an end, but I do not look forward to the last installment in the POTC franchise. I really, really enjoy the character of Jack Sparrow. I truly escape all else when watching Depp drift around, pirating his way through each film. Sparrow is easily my favorite film character, eclipsing even the Dude.

On Stranger Tides had me worried, without Bloom and Knightley, but it proved to be just what I needed. Bringing in Edward Teach (Blackbeard) was terrific. I really appreciate how the writers draw on pirate lore and history to make it feel a bit more authentic (even though we all know it's just goofy fun).

I watched it in 2d at a regular theatre, then again in 3d at the local IMAX. It's no eyecandy film like Inception, so I don't know if the extra $10 or so was worth it, but the sound and picture quality was top-notch, anyway. (It was worth it for me, but then...)

OST is full of laughs, action, intrigue, lore....what more could anyone wish for? Oh wait, I've got it: more!!!

Steve Martin Bluegrass!!!

No Re-do

I like speculative fiction. I like to sit around and speculate. One thing I've given some thought to: a re-do. Essentially this is the ol' time travel conundrum.

There are things said and done in my past which I really wish had gone otherwise. One was my last conversation with my dad. Another was not performing a play with my 4yr old yesterday when he asked.

Other screw ups, however, might be better left as-is.

Example: If I'd not laid out, flunked out, and dropped out before getting my wiring in order, I would never have been as sensitive and considerate of struggling students. I would always have wondered if I should have become a computer tech (dropped out).

Example: If I'd never gone back home to attempt to run the family business, I'd always wonder if I should have done it. Nothing ventured, nothing gained. As it turned out, I learned you can never go back home, exactly. I also learned I'm the last man alive you'd ever want to run your accounting business.

Example: If I'd not be so consumed with my volunteer job, AmeriCorps and the like, [a screw up only because it did not leave me with anything of a life of my own for the better part of ten years] I'd never have met my wife, and that sets in motion a whole tailspin of things that woulda never.

I think, maybe, that every misstep is a good move maybe, so long as we are attentive to the dance.

Bucket List

I cannot find a bucket list on this blog, and it's something that I've done a dozen times. For the record, I thought I'd share something of one, off the top of my head:

• become fluent in multiple languages
• take comparative religions course/study group
• skydive
• master harmonica or banjo or drums or something musical
• publish quality novels
• finish my pirate ship

Places to go...this is a big list by itself

• tour USA in RV
• vacation in Hawaii
• tour castles in Europe
• take kids to Disney land/world
• spelunking in Viet Nam
• see Victoria Falls, Africa
• visit the great pyramids of Egypt
• be Indiana Jones on some ruins in a rain forest
• tour some country I've learned the language for
• swim in every ocean

To be continued.

Polysyllabic

Here are some of the polysyllabic words and phrases from my list of words (yes, I jot down words that tickle my tongue or otherwise have some added-value to me):
Licorice Limelight
Post bottom Water-logged
Wig-Wam Paddyshack
Tailspin
Circumference
Shanty town
Uber-goober
Groundswell
Earth-shaking
Hinterlands
Underbelly
Barn swallow
Bin-buster

The Guild

I am amused and engaged by a web series, The Guild. I have been rationing my episodes, for there are only 4 seasons of the show available (and it would consume me if I let it, like all my other viewing obsessions kept at bay). As they describe the show: A comedy web series about a group of online gamers, and how they interact online and offline. Winner of they YouTube and Yahoo best web series awards in 2008, winner of three Streamy Awards in 2009. It's a comedy written for gamers, about gamers, by a gamer. Plus it stars Felicia Day, and that alone makes for great screen time.

The show features obsessive gamers who come to interact in RL encounters they sometimes regret. One character in the show haunts me: Clara. This is the SAHM who is more into cyberspace than parenting. Of course, the show's rendition of this is over-the-top, but it resonates with me. Sometimes I may check my email or do some work online when my kids are standing by, impatiently waiting to play, etc. I want to always make flesh and blood priority over ones and zeros. At times it is difficult, for RL encounters are messy and cannot be turned off readily--and that, of course, is the point of The Guild.

Pick this episode up at about 4min in to see Clara interact with her kids:


Give it a view and review it here, too!

It's WHAT?

Yep, it's December 7th alrighty.

How is it possible that it's FINALS WEEK?

I have these feelings sometimes about this time of year. (Honestly, I have them all year 'round, the older I get.)

I am astonished.

Now, do not confuse astonishment with amazement. I've written about amazement before...For that matter, I've previously written about how good it is to marvel, how one should live in the now, about how attending too much to the past or future is not valuable--but the truth is, sometimes all that is window-dressing, whitewashing, or otherwise hogwash. (Who knew such potential in cleansing compounding words?)

Sometimes, when I really admit it, I think I'm living in Oblivion. Yes, I felt like that when I lived in Western Kansas, but that was physical and literal...now I'm talking cerebral.

Astonished oblivion is not bliss. I wish it were, for it would then be easier to say, "mission accomplished." Bliss, after all, is on my bucket list...if it could be. Some theorize that bliss is a state of being, not a destination nor some thing one could ever cross off of a bucket list.

So here I am, dumbfounded at the date.

Where did the time go? I wish I still had my watch that chimed every quarter hour. I wish I lived and worked in places that only told time with large grandfather clocks--no, loud cuckoo clocks. Outside, every major gathering of buildings should have a bell tower with the most cacophonous carillon, and from that should burst the boldest acknowledgment of time passing, at least every fifteen minutes. No, make the carillon a klaxon, and mount it to my head.

In short, I wish I could be made more aware, constantly, of the passing of time.

Perhaps instead of cleaving to amazement, I should instead be aspiring toward awareness.

I am most alarmed by all this when I look at pictures, even ones from the recent past. I am sometimes shocked at my own work, only a semester old or less--I surprise myself that I wrote this or I did that. (Ever read Flowers for Algernon...similarly, I feel like I'm slowly realizing my own retreat to senility.) Even worse than the 'typical man' who might casually (strategically?) forget (plausible deniability?) he said or did something, I seem to be fading. It annoys my wife. It frustrates my children. It surprises me.

Maybe I'm making too much of it. After all, this is Finals week, the time when I have hundreds of papers to grade and take the responsibilities of my job far too seriously. I sleep less, I worry more, and I grade most of all. Grading papers, as anyone who does too much of it can attest, can dull one's wits. I am also prone to sentimentality at this time of year (Finals, yes, but doubly so, the holidays). In repressing sentiment, yes, even when grading, I think perhaps I repress what's left of my wit and wisdom as well.

Why else, I am realizing as I am typing this, would I have shared so?

Heads up: porn schoolin' might work...

Want people to pay attention? This would be MUCH more likely to hold one's attention than a traditional research paper:



Now, MY body, while ample enough to write an encyclopedia upon, would not be a good medium for information. Maybe KelleMarie (the model in the film) might volunteer her time to reveal content tidbits for class....or maybe someone from class could volunteer? Why not combine the nude modeling/human body drawing class and, say, my composition or literature course?

Gee, for some reason, campus administrators never like my big ideas.

Trademark THIS

Greed and ownership drive corporations to new extremes. This topic would be a hot one for an issue-oriented essay. What am I writing about now?

Subway files a claim to trademark the word "footlong" and badgers small businesses currently using the term. On-ramp to the full-on debacle here, courtesy of an NPR blog.

Yes, as always, I'm late to the fracas, now raging since May 9th or so. Nonetheless, here's my opinion:

What grounds do they have to trademark something in such general use as "footlong" anyway?

Next we'll see trademarked:

Spicy

Hot and juicy

Cold (as in cold beer)

Good

For sale

What will be immune to trademarking if this goes through?

The issues of ownership, intellectual property, identity and brand are very engaging. I am no attorney, but it would seem to me that generic words could not be owned. I don't like it that any words are owned. I suppose I could see that a brand name concocted from a corporate punk's head might be okay if it were not in the OED or any other dictionary already...those words could be owned.

In fact, some like Polaroid, Xerox, and Kleenex have won battles in court for decades now. I agree with these guys, for the words did not exist prior to the inventions, ideas, etc. associated with the company that owned the trademarked term.

Leave it at that.

Subway, be a creative force instead of a monopolizing bully. Here, you marketing wizards, I'll give you some lingo to sling and trademark:

30.48 cm Sandwich

Eatcha IntoaComa Sandwich

SewerLog Sandwich

Want to keep that alliteration going? Five dollar Floater Sandwich

Friends don't let friends blog alone. Contribute your fresh ideas (oops, "fresh" is prolly a Subway owned word, too) in your replies.

Hawaii-5-0

Man, this was one great show, back in the day. Brian Setzer's Orchestra did a great cover of the theme song, gets me on my feet every time. Here's the promo clip from the new series coming out on CBS soon:

Roughing It

I've never been for a ride in a Model-T Ford, but I have been in cab-less vehicles that had firm shocks, leaf springs front and rear...an old Willys Jeep (precursor of the AMC Jeeps we all know and love). I've been studying old cars for most of my life and know there are modern conveniences we take for granted:

1. comfortable, adjustable seats
2. automatic transmission
3. windows
4. music
5. gauges
6. power steering
7. power brakes
8. power windows
9. good exhaust
10. air conditioning
11. safety features
12. (nearly) rattle-free interiors
13. quiet rides
14. GPS systems

...and I could go on.

We marvel that people could drive such harsh vehicles, so brutal and inconsiderate. We also marvel that people used to leave food products out of the fridge between meals, that they used root cellars to preserve food, that they had the windows open and open fire places!

Once upon a time, you had to open doors all by yourself at grocery stores.

Used to be, you had to talk to a teller to get some cash.

We were able to write on little slips of paper to conduct business rather than use credit/debit cards...and we carried cash (real green stuff).

...and I could, again, go on.

The point of this entry (and I'm just warming up to it) is that we have so many modern conveniences and luxuries which we never reckon with [clean, running water--indoor plumbing!]. The one I am thinking of most right now is the humble computer.

Yes, I grew up on a typewriter. I was using the Internet when it was just a blue screen and white text (and we thought that was da'bomb).

I am sharing this because I realize frequently how very, very dependent I am on technology and how much of a wuss I am due to creature comforts. When visiting Mexico, I had a few reality checks, and when I revisit my homeland and farmstead, I again am reminded of my childhood and "roughing it" back then with black and white TV coming in via aerial.

I guess there's no turning back, but frankly, I'd like to. I'd go all the way back to the buckboard and kerosene light. My only issue would be medical care, but I guess we're likely to be reverting to that 19th century medical practice anyway, thanks to what's afoot.

I could go a week without a shower, use an outhouse, take cold showers (uhgh, starting to get into my sacred comfort zone now). I could stand only traveling 40 miles a day on horseback. I could sleep on the ground. About all I could not handle--dental care!!!!

Babies

So now there's a movie all about babies, starring babies, etc. Remarkably, it's titled: Babies! (That link takes you to their site, trailer, text, etc.)

I am so enthused about the movie, I added a widget to my blog--see over there on the right?

Why would I do such a thing, promote such a film? Well, for one, it's a lot like Baraka, for it does not force a story on you; instead, it's a documentary w/out much voice-over. It's all about 4 babies and the lives they lead, starting out. It's shot from their p.o.v. and it's stripped of all our parental uber-lord. I cannot wait to see it.

Similarly, I am always studying my own kids, always fascinated with their inner workings. They say the darnedest things, do the most outlandish things--they're just unpredictable. That's why I like them so much.

Packing Iron

Image from here.

Yes, Iron Man is going to be a big hit, much-hyped and destined to rake in box office bucks beyond measure. I'll leave it to the true comic book fans to report on accuracy of the film to the character from the colored pages of our youth...

I'll just confess that I like Robert Downey, Jr more with every successive film he appears in. Oh, he's no Johnny Depp, or reaching way back Peter O'Toole, but he's really coming into his own. I admire that RDjr is overcoming his demons, and I lament that Charlie Sheen is not (but gosh darn, I want to like that guy, too, really).

I've already written about Downey in Sherlock Holmes (though I shared more about the soundtrack). He was incredible in that film, and I'm begging for a sequel.

Iron Man 2, however, intrigues me. I know little more than the average Joe, and I plan to keep it that way, not pouring over the website or blog posts or trailers, teasers, etc...for I like being pleasantly surprised.

I guess you could say that's a lifestyle decision for me: blissful ignorance. That way I am seemingly constantly in a state of ah-ah! (Not really so very much, but it was fun to imagine I was really living in the moment, even if only for the moment I wrote the passage).

Regardless, I have something to look forward to: summer movies! Alas, I only have one movie pass hoarded from my birthday months ago. So far I expended the passes wisely, very wisely if you ask me, on Holmes and then on Alice in Wonderland. (I owe myself a post on that film, too, soon.)

On Toilet Mints

I've been thinking this one over for some time now, well, since about mid-March, anyway. About that time, the custodial gods installed toilet mints in the urinals where I work. For those not privy to our privy, we have about 9 urinals all lined up like strangely-receptive i-robot parodies, eager to be flush with one's contribution. What has gathered my attention is this: the mints do not seem to be dissolving at a consistent rate.

Now, some may venture that about this time of year I get a bit loopy, that I am prone to observations that one might not make if of sound mind. I have been known to see invisible creatures, to laugh at the pronunciation of my own name, to forget where my children are (even as I am holding one of them on my hip). In this instance, however, let me assure you that I am making the most scientific of observations.

My office mate, himself a scientist, speculated over the toilet mint phenomena himself last week--unsolicited, I might add.

You see, there might be any number of factors that are affecting the mints. His theory was the most obvious (and thereby, the most likely for me to discount, for it makes too much sense). Simply put, he thinks the most-dissolved mints must be in urinals that are most popular. This would stand to reason, for they are, generally speaking, the urinals at the far ends of the line up. We men like to wee as privately as we may, given the circumstances.

However, couldn't it also be that the downdrafts from the vents (approx. at the ends of the line up, in the ceiling above) could be eroding the mints?

Or maybe it's not the number (popularity) of the use of said urinals but the quality of urine of those who frequent these urinals. I, myself, have toxic waste from too much coffee (a pot before 830am) and thus would offer, maybe folks with a stream like mine more greatly affect the toilet mint. Or it may be that the clientele of certain urinals might have a higher velocity discharge than another. I know for a fact that some males (I debated over using "boys" or "men" in this context) make a sport of eroding the toilet mint with their fire power. If, perchance, any reader of this is doubting me, I offer as exhibit A the toilet mint/target popular after 9/11 that featured a target and image of Osama Bin Laden:
Note the catch phrase: "Urine Trouble bin Laden." Toilet humor. Can't get enough? Then you might want to order the customizable urine cake that allows you to insert any photo!

Now back to our show...
I am concerned that this whole discussion may be moot, for who's to say the custodians don't rotate these mints on some schedule? I know when I was a custodian, I had similarly been assigned mundane, asinine, inexplicable tasks on my list (including cleaning the hose that fed water into my mop bucket). If that is true, all hope is lost to ever explain the mint erosion issue!

Perhaps, if the mints are in rotation, then it is not the placement of the mint in any given urinal but the quality of the mint, itself, to study. It may be that some mints are of inferior manufacture or inconsistent materials. I am sure there must be some ANSII standard for toilet mints, but is there really any quality control? WHY DOESN'T SOMEONE CARE! Does any one really invest enough time in making sure these mints are tested for density, strength, scent or, most importantly to this discussion, durability? Is there a job for that in the Occupational Outlook Handbook: toilet mint inspector? He, who comes home from work, goes over his day with his spouse over meatloaf: "Yeah, honey, we had another reject today. Color faded after only 72 gallons at medium stream, don't that just beat all? And someone could have had that in their urinal! Makes me proud I'm there to maintain quality, by gawd!"

Maybe, just maybe, down the drains of these urinals there are life forms we do not know or acknowledge, and perhaps some colonies of said life forms are more voracious in their eating than others. Or maybe they do not eat the toilet mints, but instead lick them, like a cow would a salt lick...or maybe they skate on them...at any rate, one life form's colony's appetites and lifestyle choices might be more demanding on the toilet mint than a neighboring life form's colony.

Betcha didn't think about that, eh?

A point of order: And, btw, I call them toilet mints rather than urinal cakes for good reason. There is nothing cake-like about them, and like those old air fresheners (Stick-ups?), you can put said mint behind a toilet, in the tank of a toilet, etc...so they are more versitle and thereby deserve the broader name, "toilet" mint.

Make mine SciFi

Ever thought about how this genre, science fiction, is something of an oxymoron in itself--I mean, science is all factual and well...scientific, while fiction is lies, lies, lies.

This entry is to explain to some folks why I like science fiction.


First of all, I like gadgets. I subscribe to feeds on new gadgets. (even though I cannot afford them) I can't get enough of Rube Goldbergian, overly-complicated, old school gadgets. I think early inventors rock, and I have bookmarked several patent/invention sites I visit frequently. When I was a kid, I would get a buzz out of the Jetson's and all those gadgets in the opening credits that got George around for the day ahead.


Then, I like to make things. While I aspire to great gadgetry, I'm just as happy making a crude box from scraps with my kid and a pneumatic nail gun, like we did just yesterday. I like to concoct crazy fixes and employ things other folk might discard. I like to re-purpose things. I especially enjoy solving problems with technology.


I am a man of conundrums. Puzzling principles and complicated circumstances draw my attention. This might be a convoluted plot in some work of fiction, or it might be some issue of life/society that is unresolved or annoying me. For example, I find the time it takes to get somewhere to be very, very bothersome. (I know, you're supposed to enjoy the journey, but....). I think I like science fiction because it can step up and offer solutions for commutes that get in the way (teleportation) or language barriers that lead to battles (universal translators).

I am an optimist, and much of science fiction (the Roddenberry strain, and soft sci-fi) addresses worlds and cultures that have overcome all the -isms and moved on. Many SF environments are free of pollution, no longer burdened with consumption, want, lust... When I am seeking a better world, I can usually find it in the pages of a SF novel or film.



Admittedly, when it comes to art--film, in particular--I am all about the eye candy. The fanciful worlds of space and science that could be...breathtaking! Fusing fantasy (the entire gamut of what-if) and scientific gadgetry on screen is awesome.

Ticket to Ride...Hillbilly style

One of the better bluegrass covers of a Beatles' song...and the video is excellent, too, in this rare case. Sometimes you need something silly and light like this to brighten the day. Go make it a favorite in YouTube.

STAR WARS: in concert

How did this never make it to my radar?

Last night on PBS there was a fund raiser with a clip on the making of this upcoming concert to be here in Wichita in May. (It began the arena tour last October, and I'm just now privy!)

According to StarWars.com:

Star Wars: In Concert, the unique multi-media event featuring music from all six of John Williams' epic Star Wars scores, returns to North America on May 13, 2010 in Ft. Myers, Florida (May 13), beginning a fifty-city leg of the worldwide tour that will include dates in the United States and Canada. Over 350,000 Americans attended Star Wars: In Concert during its three-month inaugural 47-city North American tour last year, which Pollstar rated as the 9th biggest tour of 2009 in January.

The tour's return to North America follows a month in Europe -- from March 7 to April 8, 2010 -- with stops in Dublin, Liverpool, Glasgow, Paris, Madrid, Lisbon, Milan, Antwerp, Hamburg and the O2 Arena in London, where it began one year ago.

The production features a full symphony orchestra and choir, accompanied by specially edited footage from the films displayed on a three-story-tall, high-definition LED super-screen -- one of the largest ever put on tour. The footage actually runs in sync with the live music to create a full multi-media, one-of-kind Star Wars experience.

Accompanying the concert is an exclusive exhibit of Star Wars costumes, props, artifacts, production artwork and specially created behind-the-scenes videos from the Lucasfilm Archives. Many of these pieces are leaving Skywalker Ranch for the first time ever. The exhibit features many classic fan favorite artifacts, as well as several new and never-before-seen items, including:

• Full costumes for Jedi Masters Kit Fisto and Plo Koon will be on display.
• For the first time ever, pages from John Williams' original hand-written sheet music for Star Wars: Episode I The Phantom Menace will be exhibited for the public.
• Also on display will be various never-before-seen props from the films, including blasters and helmets from Coruscant, Tatooine and other iconic Star Wars locations.

My oldest son and I are going to be there, regardless of ticket prices, etc. We simply MUST GO. I give my wife grief about not getting me to Willie Nelson, but this is bigger, exponentially bigger...legendary. Those who follow my blog know I am a big John Williams fan, and though he will not be there, his music will be center stage. There will not likely ever be another SW movie, so this could be the end of the run. I have to be there! The show features a traveling museum, too, that includes the original Luke Skywalker light saber...I so want that thing!