Dogpaddling

How do they do it? Those single-parent, two-job, full-time students out there who also keep a clean house and feed their kids decent homecooked meals and still have time for friends, hobbies, and a life--they amaze me.

I am barely (just barely) keeping my head above water, and I can only do that by coming in to work at 5am or earlier. Even so, I cannot manage time well-enough for friends, housework, hobbies, etc... I'm not accomplishing much. I'm not working on my novel, my future plans, my home businesses, etc. I'm about the worst friend one can imagine!

GEEZ!

Great Odin's raven! Son of a bee sting! By the beard of Zeus!

I've done time studies on myself before, cumbersome yet revealing documenting of my every mintue of every day for a week--all in an attempt to find where the time goes and how to get more of the wasted moments. I've read of how many hours we spend over a lifetime opening mail, waiting at stoplights, etc... I know I am burning my clock right now, blogging instead of something others might find more constructive...but I just do not get it! I marvel at you, busy and productive people of the good life. I could learn a great deal from you.

I've written about time many times in this blog, mostly lamenting the inability to capture it, preserve it, rewind it a-la "Click." I've expressed concern that my boys are growing too fast and that mortality is sneaking up on me in cleated hiking boots. None of this has changed much of anything in my favor, however. I guess at the very least, I'm somewhat aware of what's happening, and as with most problems, awareness is a first step toward changing things.

It's not that I'm ambitious. I'd just like to be average.

Other folks have a job, family, clean home, life, friends, hobbies, etc. I want it, too!

Trimmed

The entire family visited the barber/hairdressers this week...but that's not the topic of this post. Thanks to two hard-working college laborers and two very-cooperative implements: the entire homestead is trimmed and fit.

By Wednesday, we'd mowed 8 acres, moved 5 pickup loads of downed limbs, and generally just picked up the place some. Thursday, after 7 hours, we were rained out, but only after another 5 pickup loads of limbs and about that many of 'space junk' and general debris left behind by former property owners. Things look pretty spiffy, and I'm ahead of the curve this year!

I know this is not a stimulating entry, but I wanted to document progress somewhere!

Spring Break Rain

The local weatherman was apologizing to the "kiddies" for the wet spring break. I was shouting to the television, "Why, back when I was young, we had a 1/4 inch of ice in a late winter storm once...they've nothing to whine about." (My grandmother used to do just that, argue aloud with the 'picture set' all the time. She also did not watch television, she would 'look' at TV now and then...but if I follow this one out, I'll be on another rant about television, so %&%$#@)

In all truth, spring rain is rejuvenating to me (and plant life). I grew up in the desert southwest of Kansas, and even after 25 years in this climate, I find it novel that it actually rains now and then. Sometimes I marvel at just how very much it can rain around here. Tuesday we had rain and showers all day, over an inch of rain! Today, it's supposed to fall again after noon.

I most enjoy this all O U T S I D E where I'm wandering around my property finding everything in bloom. In ways I feel like a child first discovering things, and in ways I am. (Where I'm from, there were no crocus, few fruit trees, etc...) It's especially fun, for as I'm learning, I'm also teaching my boys. I think, like a naturalist, I should start a hard copy, offline, illustrated study of 'things growing here.'

I keep looking things up on the Internet and in my gardening books, but I intend to beg the extension agent to visit soon. Maybe the agent will be like Mr. Kimball, of Green Acres...Kimball is the one on the far left, a humble and good natured fellow who couldn't identify anything!

I also have a cadre of acquaintances who know more about the outdoors than I do. Maybe I'll have them out all at once, sort of a field day, to see what mother nature's cookin' out here. I do know that I don't want to spray everything, if I can help it...for one, it just seems wrong, and for another, I've a well here I don't want to contaminate.

We'll see what may come of it all. Today it's to be dry enough I can get out there again, so I'm signing off.

All is not lost

So, my hard-drive crashed and burned. It was extracted from my work PC and today I held it in my hand...a small brick of a thing not much bigger than a PopTart. I liken it to holding a beating heart or brain in my hand...a metaphysical encounter...and so very sad. "Alas, poor Woolery, I knew him well." (I name all my computers after game show hosts: Wink, Sajak, Vanna, etc...).

...and NO, I did not back things up well. I lost somewhere around 200 bookmarked sites I so loved. I lost all my creative writing (secretly done on company time, so 'serves me right!). I lost virtually every handout, lesson plan, submitted/graded assignment, etc...two years' worth of content/materials I'll be challenged to recreate.

*sigh*

The good news: we can rebuild him. (From the 6 million $ man)

Stronger, faster, more organized...that will be my new PC (at the moment, un-named). Already I've been constructing more logical folder names, improvements on "odd stuff" or "old" or "omniscience found here." I'm reloading the gadgets and gizmos and shortcuts and programs that have been helpful over the years, like Trillian and Impatica, Softchalk and a gradebook tool...I'm clamping down security and uploading (right now) every spyware/adware/virus protection gizmo I've come to trust. I've even figured out a way to automatically tack the file/path name to every document I generate from now on, so I won't waste time poking around in my PC hunting for a file.

Maybe this will even revolutionize my cyberself, altogether. Maybe, since my template for blogger has been lost, I'll revamp even this blog's look, sometime soon.

So, I've cycled through all the stages of grieving now. Yesterday wasn't pretty, but I'm coming around. Yesterday, for just an instant, I was so angry I wanted to destroy my PC, a la "Office Space." I came to depression over just how much I've lost, how many links I may never retrace...that's still resurfacing...I returned from a break in denial, though fleeting--and I'm camping somewhere on acceptance.

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