Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Now THAT'S a Tool!


Check out this old-school typewriter.

I think that any tool one uses as much as I use a keyboard should have similar bling. It should be classy, iron, decorative, etc. Instead, I use a nasty plastic keyboard from HP made in China.

I believe that when one has a tool of the right caliber, it can help them work at a higher level. I have certainly discovered this to be true with tools of farming, wood work, etc. I expect it crosses over into more cerebral work as well.

In one of my favorite movies, Final Cut, the lead character works on a wood and brass laptop. It is beautiful. I should at least be working on a keyboard like this. Classy, brass, steampunk.

Instead, it's the ol' out of the box model. Maybe that accounts for my shoddy workmanship, my procrastination, my poor....

Monday, March 29, 2010

Aspiring...

Aspiring to do something is not doing that something. Good intentions are really not going to get me any where.

The problem is, I have many, many things to do. There's that letter I thought I'd write...there's that little home repair that always annoys me...there's always chores, bills, and a backlog of to-do's. Add to this, my bucket lists (yes lists in the plural) and my open-ended, achingly empty promises to my kids to do this/that. Gads.

If we were to play a word game, like maybe Family Feud, I think it would be easy enough to come up with the number one answer to the title of this entry. Aspiring......writer. (What else could it have been? butcher, draftsman, welder, accountant?) Why is it that of all career paths, "writer" fits better with "aspiring" than any other? Hmmm...

My guess is that one can obtain status as about any kind of worker readily by simply working in the field. I am a farmer if I farm. I am a gardener if I garden. One can obtain certification in an area and also be an anointed, certified teacher, doctor, or day care provider. On both counts, it would seem that I am, indeed, a writer. I write. (See me write? I am doing it right now.) I have actual degrees in my field.

Some argue that a person is not truly a writer until they are published. Well, I suppose by some definitions, I am again already there. My thesis rests, dust- and spiderweb- covered, in a university library. I have 30+ published articles from a column I wrote. My online course content has been a model for others in some venues. I blog (see, here, I'm blogging right now).

Still, if someone asks me what I am, my first responses are, in this order:
daddy
teacher
husband
...and if they ask what I do:
teach
parent
mess around on my farm

...it's far down the list that I say I am a writer or that I write. That is odd, for it has been on my list of things to do, on lists of my defining characteristics, etc. virtually all my life. It's the absolute only thing I have ever been given an award for.

The intent of these last few hundred words has simply been self-motivating. Last weekend I attended a great conference of the Kansas Writer's Association and walked away from that, pen in hand, ready to write. Again.

The last time I really dedicated any serious time to Writing was in 2004, which seems like yesterday but was, in fact over 5 years ago. I know people who were not even alive back then, like 3 of my 4 children!

My new direction, my current aspiration, is to be published in some renown literary magazine. I think I'm going to give that some time every day. Even if it's just a visit to a good, local bookstore, I'm going to get into the culture again, and we'll see what comes out of it.

Friday, March 26, 2010

(Automotive) Honesty


Recently I sold a car on Craig's List. It was a good ol' car, and I miss it. In this photo, I'm waving goodbye to her...

Anyway, I advertised it in its true condition: 1996 Dodge Avenger SE You'll love this car! Clean title, strong engine. Only 186,000 miles. Sunroof, bucket seats, 10 disc CD changer in roomy trunk. Interior in good condition. Exterior has only minor damage. (Email or come by to see .) Gas mileage in the high 20's. 6cyl, 24 val. DOHC. Speedy! Sporty! Great school car. So why so cheap? heater core and water pump both need replaced. I don't have time/resources, and mechanic wanted more than I could pony up. Someone handy or wanting a hobby car could get her on the road w/ease. I'd get it fixed myself, but I need 2 bench seats for a growing family.


A fellow, Joe, followed through, worked me down to a humiliating price, and drove away happy with it. I certainly did not lose anything, for I drove it for 3 full years for only $600 bucks. (I should always be so lucky with cars!)


THEN, more recently, I received a call from a disgruntled person who had purchased the car from that guy, Joe. This caller was less-than-pleased, for Joe had not told him anything was wrong with the car, and the deal was closed between them for nearly 3 times the price Joe and I had settled upon. I apologized to the caller, telling him I only wished I had that phone number to Joe still, then rang off. I spent the rest of the evening in ire.


It is such bad form to sell a car like Joe did. So very dishonest. So evil. Sure, some might argue that Joe was simply resourceful, enterprising, but I would argue that someday, some how, it will all come back to bite him.


Karma.


I think there is a very special circle of hell for deceitful car dealers and attorneys.

Monday, March 22, 2010

99 bottles of beer on the wall

This old count-down song was a favorite on road trips.

I have a count down clock on my computer at work that lets me know how many days remain until grades are due. This clock is not (necessarily) just showing me the light at the end of the tunnel. It's not there to give me encouragement that I can grit my teeth, grin and bear it for just another XX days. I'm not like Fred Flintstone, dashing down my dinosaur at the quitin' time whistle.

I am, however, very goal oriented. I need milestones, signposts, markers and measures to help me overcome a sometimes heavy work load. It's overwhelming when I realize I have over 600 essays (roughly 60,000 words) yet to grade this term, plus 600,000 words of their journals to read, plus 150 final exams to tally...all that can get to be a bit burdensome.

The clock tells me, however, that there's only 56 days (including weekends and holidays) to get all the above done, regardless. It tells me that, for better or worse, I sure as hell will be done by that deadline, no matter what. It helps me pace myself, stay on task, keep my eyes on the monitor and fingers on the keyboard.

Saturday, March 20, 2010

Spring Break Snow

I was in denial. I did not believe it could really snow on spring break, but it has...and it is.

That's okay, for in anticipation, we worked hard outside when we could and we made as ready as we could. (Didn't expect to lose power last night, but it was only a 90 minute outage...you can't forecast everything.)

I remember one really dramatic ice storm over spring break, back when I was in college a millenia ago. Otherwise, I cannot recall much of a "winter storm" in later March. I like this blog, for it gives me a chance to document this for posterity. (Maybe my wife will get some good pictures to post here, too.)

This snow day is actually the inverse of most, for it gives me a break from gardening and yard work to do my grading and school work. Traditionally, I look forward to snow so I can skip school.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

The Promise of Each New Day


Page URL: http://mrg.bz/2jOGrD at free photo morgue

People ask me why I'm a morning person. The answer comes easy: I'm awake. The better answer, however, is that I am an optimist. Even when I'm bummed or in a funk, I'm up for the next round, punch drunk and weaving, I clock in.


Morning, to me, is a gift. The more of it I can have (earlier and earlier), the better.


Morning is time to groom my mind, to get my game on, to cycle through all the tunes in my internal iPod that get me psyched. It is the time of day when I am most creative, most playful, most energetic.


(Right now I expend all that on school, from planning to lecture to grading. Many times I have thought maybe that the best of me should instead be given to my family. It's still something to think through.)


I find morning is a bright future. Each minute to sunrise, instead of regretting that time is passing, I'm basking. I'm basting in my own exuberance. I'm enjoying what's coming. I'm full of anticipation.


I'm cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.

Monday, March 15, 2010

Full Swing--and a miss.

*sigh*

Over the weekend, it was one false start after another. From Friday through Sunday the weather was not pleasant (like I ordered for Spring Break). It would have been good time to play board games and do plays and make movies and read books--cozy, inside w/my kids...but I was so anxious, so ratcheted up with plans for the break that I was mostly grumbling around and attempting to do things on my List.

I have made a scratch on the garden. I made a swing at the ship. I started building a raised bed.

And, the boys and I did play some games, walked the trail, buried a hawk, wandered the property...but I need to do much better with the 7 days remaining. Of course, there's things eating at my Event, from doctors to grading, from friend visits to equipment availability. All I can say is, I hope the weather will cooperate for the rest of the holiday.

As we wandered the property yesterday, I noticed some weeds are already ankle-high, and they are the most obnoxious, notoriously sturdy weeds we have. They grow 7 feet tall, unchecked, and they suck up lots of moisture from the ground. I wish I could sick my goat on them, but she doesn't seem that thrilled about it. (See, I need to get my mower out NOW!)

I think the best thing I could do with this break is to just relax. We already agreed to put housework at bay until next week. I'm really trying to grade only what I absolutely must do this week, so I can be more available. Maybe we will do daily visits w/folks. My list is long, though my time always seems short.

Sunday, March 14, 2010

Stuff I Think I Need

...but really just want.

Back in the day, my list of wants was related to car parts and girlfriends. I went through a gadget phase. I went through an HGTV home improvement phase. Now, you be the judge:

  1. plow
  2. disc
  3. pto driven tiller
  4. scoop tractor
  5. stock tank
  6. budget for trees
  7. new hydrants (installed, of course)
  8. big outbuilding
  9. reliable transportation for six
  10. economical trans for one (motorcycle?)
  11. wi-fi at home
  12. more home (2000 sq ft more)
  13. a big, tree-covered berm to block road noise
  14. college funds
  15. retirement funds
  16. retirement :)

Used to be, if my "needs" would suddenly have been fulfilled, I would have felt less-than-satisfied, for they were the goals w/n themselves. Now, this list largely would still just give me the ability to fulfill goals. Interesting evolution of desires.

Of course, of all my needs, I think I need more time. When ever the time changes, like it did last night, I marvel at how we play with an idle hour as if it were nothing but digits on a clock. There are days I'd give my paycheck for just one more hour. The one "need" I have can't be given or taken, only spent. I hope to spend what time I have left in my budget wisely and well.

Friday, March 12, 2010

Gonna Garden

Tomorrow, rain or shine. I'm going to build raised beds. I'm going to order some soil. I'm going to reserve my tiller. Maybe I'll even service my lawn tractor, for sometime soon (VERY SOON) I'm going to have to begin mowing. New to my blog and life? Mowing takes me 4 hrs a week in prime season, but it's worth it. Maybe we'll get enough goats going this year, maybe get the pasture leased out, and thereby reduce my mowing some.

I still have few plans in place for what we're to grow, how we're to preserve it, etc. With the cost of food so low, it's still hardly a profitable venture...but maybe I'll find a way. We eat a lot of potatoes, so I am eager to grow them as a staple. I'd like to see us eat a great deal more beans, and maybe we can raise them in bulk this year (?)

Chickens seem to offer the greatest savings to us, for we go through dozens of eggs weekly. I think if I were to really live by my values, I'd eat eggs over red meat (maybe even eat chicken, etc and still lay off the red meat). I can raise egg-laying chickens for next to nothing--for...chicken feed!

Thursday, March 11, 2010

STAR WARS: in concert


How did this never make it to my radar?

Last night on PBS there was a fund raiser with a clip on the making of this upcoming concert to be here in Wichita in May. (It began the arena tour last October, and I'm just now privy!)

According to StarWars.com:

Star Wars: In Concert, the unique multi-media event featuring music from all six of John Williams' epic Star Wars scores, returns to North America on May 13, 2010 in Ft. Myers, Florida (May 13), beginning a fifty-city leg of the worldwide tour that will include dates in the United States and Canada. Over 350,000 Americans attended Star Wars: In Concert during its three-month inaugural 47-city North American tour last year, which Pollstar rated as the 9th biggest tour of 2009 in January.

The tour's return to North America follows a month in Europe -- from March 7 to April 8, 2010 -- with stops in Dublin, Liverpool, Glasgow, Paris, Madrid, Lisbon, Milan, Antwerp, Hamburg and the O2 Arena in London, where it began one year ago.

The production features a full symphony orchestra and choir, accompanied by specially edited footage from the films displayed on a three-story-tall, high-definition LED super-screen -- one of the largest ever put on tour. The footage actually runs in sync with the live music to create a full multi-media, one-of-kind Star Wars experience.

Accompanying the concert is an exclusive exhibit of Star Wars costumes, props, artifacts, production artwork and specially created behind-the-scenes videos from the Lucasfilm Archives. Many of these pieces are leaving Skywalker Ranch for the first time ever. The exhibit features many classic fan favorite artifacts, as well as several new and never-before-seen items, including:
  • Full costumes for Jedi Masters Kit Fisto and Plo Koon will be on display.
  • For the first time ever, pages from John Williams' original hand-written sheet music for Star Wars: Episode I The Phantom Menace will be exhibited for the public.
  • Also on display will be various never-before-seen props from the films, including blasters and helmets from Coruscant, Tatooine and other iconic Star Wars locations.
My oldest son and I are going to be there, regardless of ticket prices, etc. We simply MUST GO. I give my wife grief about not getting me to Willie Nelson, but this is bigger, exponentially bigger...legendary. Those who follow my blog know I am a big John Williams fan, and though he will not be there, his music will be center stage. There will not likely ever be another SW movie, so this could be the end of the run. I have to be there! The show features a traveling museum, too, that includes the original Luke Skywalker light saber...I so want that thing!

Tuesday, March 09, 2010

Snoring led to this!

'Went to the doctor because I snore. Epically.

Well, this is just disconcerting news: I may be in bed "sleeping" for 6 hours, but only 45 minutes of that is truly at rest, in the restorative level of sleep we are all to get so much of. How did I learn this? I had a gizmo hooked up to my finger recently measuring my oxygen levels and heart rate. It seems my lungs/breathing system overall is not doing a good enough job oxygenating my blood, so my heart gets alerted and kicks another system on overdrive to compensate. Sadly raising blood flow has no effect, for it's still dirty blood, just more of it.

I was asked a battery of questions to provide further insight/confirmation that there is trouble afoot, things like:
  • Are you perpetually sleepy?
  • Do you nap easily? often? too often?
  • After a nap, does your energy level quickly dissipate?
  • When a passenger in a car, do you often fall asleep?
  • When driving a car, do you get groggy?
  • Do you remember your dreams with amazing clarity?
The answers really drove home the prognosis--I am severely sleep deprived. I'm going to have to go to some specialist on sleep apnea and such to figure it all out. I may be on an oxygen supply at night after that. Geez.

Meanwhile, I'm going to read up on the 'science of sleep.'

I would offer it does not take a rocket scientist (even a sleep scientist) to tell me I'm tired, that I do not sleep like normal folk. I am sure generations of people (particularly first time moms) go through periods of sleeplessness. I have had such, weeks at a time, myself. I did not know that my blood was poorly oxygenated. What a loser, I cannot even oxygenate my blood right! I guess I've learned that I cannot even sleep well, and that was something I thought I was good at!

The doctor also confirmed something I knew but needed to hear from him. He looked over my chart back five years, looked at me, said, "How tall are you?" He told me my ideal weight, according to insurance actuaries, would be 156, not 189. He noted I'd weighed about 160 when I visited back in the day, that I've put on THIRTY POUNDS. I didn't even try to tell him it was all muscle. He asked, and rightly so, if I'd had sleeping issues back then...well, I did, but they were different in nature, more a matter of a troubled mind than a loser body.

I quit smoking when I had lots of incentive. My little toddler would cry at the window when I'd step outside. My 3 yr old would say, "I want to 'moke just like you." I quit quickly. Now I've got a doctor reminding me of the obvious and "life threatening" issues with lack of sleep coupled to being a lardass. Thus, I have perhaps reached critical mass on this fitness crisis. I hope.

Maybe now I'll be moved to move! Get more active. Get more fit. Eat better.

Monday, March 08, 2010

Spring Fever

I did NOT get to attend the garden show, yet again. Between time limitations and budget restrictions, it was not a good fit. (Besides, I know I could drop a paycheck there, so I avoid it like the casino, the arcade, etc)

I DO, regardless, have a bad case of spring fever. Today it is to rain, and the air is rich with spring rain smells. My mind is teeming with ideas for the outdoors, from gardening to building things. It is all I can do to come inside!

Fortunately with the rain comes mud, and thus, I am essentially grounded from playing outside until it clears up. That forces me to keep my fingers at the keyboard and my head in the game--at least until Friday.

Sunday, March 07, 2010

Memorial/Celebration

I recently attended a memorial celebration for a person who'd passed on about two weeks ago. Remarkably, I feel I got to know the man better at this event than I did through our encounters when he was alive. It gave me cause to pause, to think over life and everything. I think that's what any memorial, remembrance, funeral, etc. should do. We take the actual death too hard; perhaps we should use it as a springboard to celebrate, reflect, and move forward as better people. That's how I was affected by the one I attended.

Back in the day, when death was more commonplace, people did not spend such outrageous sums (between $6,000 and 11,000 in the USA) on the dead. Family died in the home, were laid to rest humbly, were visited frequently. Ever seen a park bench in an old section of the cemetery? That's because people used to frequent the cemetery to reflect, to relax.

I've written on the funeral industry more than once, so I'll spare any regular reader that, again.

I will say, at least, that attending a celebration is much more motivational than a funeral. I was surrounded by the man's friends (some decades old!) , family, neighbors, and co-workers. The event summed up his life nicely, featuring his favorite snacks and drinks, pictures through the years, and fond memories and stories shared by those who mattered most to him. I aspire to be, like him, someone people will always treasure, always remember for the fun and funny moments as well as the flashes of responsible parenting, sincere caring, etc.

I often rewrite my obituary, but I think it would be a good practice in reflection and creativity to write an account of how my memorial might go, a celebration. Hopefully it would be like the one I attended, rather than what I fear: "Whew! Thank god he's finally dead!"

Friday, March 05, 2010

Bag on Blog

For being such a visual person with an above-average command of the Internet, you'd think I'd have a much more visually engaging blog.

I think my reservations are two-fold:
  1. I am a runt punk loser when it comes to html code
  2. my addictive personality would lead me to spend whole days on this

Thus, I am moderate in what happens here at Musementpark. Hmmm....maybe I'll abuse one of my outdated blog sites some to tweak and learn what works, then bring some over here.

Meanwhile, thanks to a friend, Linda, I've put an animated tag cloud in the margin. If you follow this blog, you know that I'm really, really into clouds and animated words. I search better using Quintura or Google's Wonder Wheel. I think better employing the Thinkmap Virtual Thesaurus. This latest addition to my blog, the animated tag cloud, makes me happy happy joy joy!!

Wednesday, March 03, 2010

Strange Daze

I might have slept 2 hours last night. I spent the rest of the time reading, thinking, plotting out the garden and the playground and the other projects I have to do (usually such plotting puts me right to sleep). If it happens again, I'm going to drop some melatonin!

I think I was juiced about today. I worked hard on today's lecture content, drilling around in about two dozen of my resources to find what (I hope) was the best 3 hours my students may have ever had on digital research. I think I'm going to make a screen capture lecture of it for my online classes (and for folks to critique here, perhaps).

I also prepared fully for the afternoon meeting with the Executive Director of the Kansas Campus Compact. The meetings included such luminaries as the college president, 2 vice-presidents, 2 deans, several directors, faculty, staff and students, community partners in service...oh and a representative from the Kansas Board of Regents. I had to review and make commentary on the draft of the KsCC strategic plan through 2014. I really absorbed a lot through the first 90 minutes, then I hope I made meaningful contributions in the other 2 hours we shared.

THEN I wrote an exam for a class and graded about a dozen papers. All this after lunch, when I normally am not good for anything.

I wonder what my horoscope said of me today...My guess: You are supercharged with boundless energy and ideas. Be prepared to share. Tonight: crash and burn.

Tuesday, March 02, 2010

Organisms

The title sounds like it's leading to some kind of pun, (organ jokes, something about orgasms...idk) but alas, it's not. I'm not that creative today.

Getting over a little 3 day stomach flu opens ones eyes. Sharing that flu with a passel of little ones renders my heart (and frankly turns my stomach). Do not read on if you are faint of heart or have no stomach for graphic detail and parental mushiness.

I am a guy, okay, and so I go through a flu like a man. I suffer, I endure, I bear down and trudge through, all with great strength and bravado. Once I was laid out with a flu and students and fellow faculty had to make a house calls to get me back on my feet. I was not going to go to the doctor, of course, and I was not going to ask for help. (Neither was I going to do anything about it all, just lay there and moan.) See, the truth is, according to my wife, men are no good at being sick. They all revert to being helpless infants who depend on the strong bosom of women to nurture them back to health. According to her, I am among the worst at sniveling, whimpering, and generally whining as I lounge around depending on others to help me.

Anyway, this weekend we went to my hometown (a 4hr drive one way) and I had to gather lots of paperwork up to do my mother's taxes (which I hate doing, generally, taxes are of Satan). On the way out, I came down with the crud. On the way back, my wife did. When we returned home, we were greeted with two sickly boys, as well as a sick sister- and mother-in-law. That night, the 4 year old picked up where he had left off the night before, spewing copious volumes of vomit in our beds, etc. etc. etc. He timed his purgings about 40 minutes apart, leaving little margin for sleep. Yesterday, it was the younger boy's turn to blow chunks, and he surely did.

Chronicling such crud has no purpose w/o reflection.

At times, we all feel invincible. We get the idea we can waltz through a barrage of gunfire or walk on hot coals. Children are especially immune to negative thinking (I have found, anyway, if you do not cloud them with pessimism, their default setting is positive). They poo poo sickness as if it were never going to happen to them. Even more impressive, kids can throw up, then take another bite of their sandwich and go play outside.

I have to admit that I've had near perfect health. My mom complains of lots of little aches and pains, but in my family tree, we have been most fortunate. My wife's side of the family is not nearly so lucky. I suppose that this run of good health has made me unusually optimistic at times, particularly ignorant at others. I know, at least, it leaves me in shock and denial whenever I really do fall ill. Just like my kids--"What, me? sick?"

A flu striking us all down, however, is a good wake up call, a reality check. It's a punch in the stomach, for sure, but it's also a good reminder how very fragile life is. We are all just organisms here, pretty much the same superstructure as one-another, from amoeba to Americans. With all of our trappings, from labels and possessions to anthropomorphism and other -isms, we too quickly forget that we are essentially bags of water propped up w/sticks.

The reality of it all is ever-more pronounced when a child is sick. When they are too young to explain what ails them, too immature to really grasp what's happening...it is more painful for me as a parent than for them as retching babies. I always ache to take away their pains. I am always too quick to medicate, anything to make them feel better. Yesterday, as I was holding my boy's head up, as a Popsicle stream of puke shot from him (generally toward a trash can), I was not grossed out. I was empathetic. I was there. I felt responsible and I felt I could do nothing for him. That helpless feeling is the very worst...and I really know nothing of it.

Sometimes my in-laws speak of their son who died of leukemia at the age of 13. Whenever I hear what they endured, I am awestruck. These people-- oh-so-human as the rest of us, with frailties and failings in abundance--take on super-human proportion when I consider what they have suffered and survived. I come to respect and treasure them more and more when I realize what they have lived through, from Viet Nam to losing several children. In our modern age, their hardships are, indeed, almost surreal. Just over a hundred years ago, however, infant mortality and fatal challenges on the prairie were so common place that parents birthed a dozen kids knowing they might end up with half that.

Reality checks of sickness and history are good. They keep us humble. They make us appreciative of what we have, even if all we have is our health.