Spring Break

Spring break...It ends up being time that's slowed down to reveal all the many things I've not been tending to due to the harried pace of the rest of life. I like these breaks (hey, they are breaks) for they give cause to pause and reflect. I do not know how I would ever regroup or improve without them.

Not all my life's breaks have had this behind them, but I'd say they have over the last ten years....so at least twenty reflective breaks or so....without the life/schedule I lead, I guess I would be much worse off than I am. Then again, reflection is not action. Neither is intention action. I have reams of well-wishing, good goal tending, all that fell fallow. I guess....at least I was that mindful, even some twenty-five years ago, that I wanted to get better, do better, do more, be more...whether I've really applied myself or reached much of all that--at least I did take aim once in a while.

I wonder if its like muscle memory. Had I not taken aim, never gotten in the mode of it all, would I utterly lack ambition. I seem to see a lot of people who have absolutely none. Is that what happened to them? Did they never pause to reflect, aim to improve?

All this aiming seems too often to come to so very little (see recent posts) but at least, I guess, I try.

Wait, wait! Don't tell me!

What a great radio show.

Right now, baby pj's that will issue a text message to your mobile device that tells you why your baby's crying, an "App for crap."

This morning has turned out quite surprisingly well. I slept in until 6. I did not clock in until 7. Then, about 8 I realized I did not bring all my gear, and was bummed. The phone rang, my wife needed the pickup, and I drove home, then went with the family to our favorite donut shop. It was tons of fun.

Then I drove 10 miles back toward the house before I realized I did not have my office keys, so I returned to Newton to find the family (all this w/o mobile phones, mind you) and secure my keys. Then 30 minutes later, I'm back at work.

All through the venture, I've been accompanied by NPR shows, first Car Talk, now Wait! Wait! (I seldom get to hear these because of kids and work.)

Listening to these shows, driving, eating donuts, seeing family--all better than the typical morning of grading papers. It felt like summer. It felt like...leisure. It was really quite nice.

Now, back to grading. *sigh* (Only 6 days to spring break, only 64 days to my summer vaca!)

Busted

[whine alert]

Hand to mouth. Paycheck to paycheck. I looked back through at least six months of this blog, and it's been at least that long since I vented on this subject here. I do recall someone back when who jumped me about such whining, claiming I likely made twice what they did, that I should have no reason to carry on so...

But I do. I venture that I've had good genes, good education, good opportunity, yet here I sit in a job that's got no room for advancement. There's no external, monetary incentive here to do great work. There's no merit pay or even much evaluation of performance. (My peers are up in arms about the prospect of such things, claiming that education cannot be parsed out and calculated like the processing of so many widgets.)

So why don't I just clock out, punch out, go home, shrug off the albatross or noose and just play with the kids more? I guess I just want to do my dead level best. My wife thinks I try too hard. I tell her that if I didn't, then students would see through me and mutiny ("What's he know? He's a farm kid from Ulysses, for cryin' outloud.")

I wouldn't be so moved by money if it were not that we are in dire straights. Nine people live in our house. It's a two bedroom house with a converted garage. Six of us sleep on air mattresses in the basement. We don't even own a car; instead we borrow and mooch vehicles from family. We cannot even pay all our own bills, depending on the fixed income and limited resources of our housemates and family to help round out the utilities and groceries. I feel ill if I pay $10 for a bunch of socks. Most all my wardrobe is from Goodwill. My kids think hand-me-downs and thrift store clothes are just the norm. I don't even own a lap top or mobile device at all. The closest I have is a 5 year old iPod that was given to me by the college for training and deployment.

There's just too much I want to do for my kids to be living like this. I want to give them a good life. I want them to never be embarrassed by our situation. I want them to see the coast, to go on vacations, to be able to afford new shoes sometime.

Just writing all this makes me furious and depressed. GROWL. *sigh*

Out of Control

I have not ever thought of myself as anything of a control freak. I've never considered myself one of those people to shun change or otherwise cling to the safe and known. (Thus spake the born/raised/permanent Kansan?!)

I am finding, however, a particularly sticky wicket in parenting: control. I knew it was coming. I knew it even when my wife was first pregnant. I figured it would spiral out of control the more I was away from the house, the farther the children strayed from the bosom.

I was right. I am still in the early pains of it and I know there is much more to come. That does NOT make it any easier or more palatable.

What's so out of control in my home and fortress? TELEVISION and COMPUTER TIME.

This is worse than losing the battle on pop, on bed time, on co-sleeping, on toys....because to me, these are stealing the very childhood right from under the kids. They are exposed to such horrors through television that I won't even write about them here (again). Computer time is now so charming it is winning them from the great outdoors, even from board games and 'rasslin' with daddy.

I hate those two elements in my home. I think they should be regulated (not by the gov't!) very strictly, frankly even as cautiously as PORN. (Maybe even more rigorously, if you really want to know my opinion.)

I know and believe in the educational powers of these media. One can make great gains with Mavis Beacon or the History Channel. I'm all for those. I'm just hating on everything ELSE.

You know I'm miffed as much as I've used ALL CAPS in this post.

(sorry for the rant)

listening to Daft Punk "Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger."

Ladle Rat Rotten Hut

Anguished English



This is a dynamic exercise for anyone, to use 'real' words to substitute for actual words of a fairy tale, poem, etc. They must sound similar. It's a great practice to stretch one's language skills to the extreme.

I first encountered this when in Linguistics class.
I also was exposed to it when learning to teach others to read.

I find it intriguing, and I like to commit passages of it to memory.

Oil ketchup wetter letter!
(I'll catch up with you later)