Dirty Laundry

I recall a trip to a friend's house once in which he was reluctant to let us near a certain part of his home, but we had to pass this area to get to the room he was putting us up in. I could not help but peek, of course, into the "forbidden territory." It was a laundry room that was at least knee deep in dirty clothes. I feared for the worst, thought they were divorcing. Who could keep house like that, I wondered, unless they'd given up entirely and were about to move away?

Now I have seen what can happen, even in my own home. Though to me it is near the height of chaos and disorder, a strong indicator of resignation and lack of self-worth, I have known this filth myself: dirty laundry. (The Eagles even had a song about it.) To have to live from laundry baskets and piles, to compose a load of wash out of urgency--it's all so alien to me and so repulsive. The way I was raised, our dirty clothes were hidden in a hamper, collected in a sorter behind closed doors (in the laundry room). Clothes were washed on a schedule that was strictly adhered to. We never "went without."

Having written that, even I know it was a bit extreme, perhaps, a little bit OCD.


It's only clothes, I know, and they are only a form of shelter, after all. I don't spend a fortune on clothes, and I don't really have much fashion sense, etc. My kids don't give a rip one way or the other, generally, unless they want that special cowboy shirt to go with boots for a trip to the zoo or something.

So why do I take it as such a personal affront that my wife and I cannot manage the laundry? Why is it such a crisis for me to have to sort socks at 5am? What's the big deal about having to use loose bedding to sleep in rather than a fitted and flat sheet set (matching, pressed)?

I guess it's just part of the compounded problem of chaos and litter and clutter that plagues our home. I tried all last year to cope with it, and yet I have not ever really come to terms with it, never accepted it, never been able to find contentment. A clean house is so much a part of what seems to me to be a stable environment, a place to be proud of, a "home."