Missing children

When I had only one child, going on two, I was worried that I might not be a good-enough parent to divide my attention and love over two (2) kids. That ended up not being a problem. Both of the older kids seem to be close to me, well loved, adequately parented, etc.

However #3 is an enigma. He is now 3 and 3 months, and his eldest brother was reciting movie dialogue, telling 20 minute stories, etc. at this age. He had a vocabulary out of this world. His second-eldest brother was mum, but he was otherwise by my side, driving 16 penny nails through 2x4s, riding on the tractor with me, etc...all the time.



But #3, Edison, is aloof. I don't know his favorite characters on television. I don't know his favorite color or hobby. I don't even know if he likes pop. He has spent too much of his time in front of the TV and not out with us boys. He's getting better, but I just feel I do not know him.

I take the blame. I have had a hard time shuffling and juggling the other two around to make enough time for Ed. Lately I've really been making a concerted effort, and it's helping, but I don't know if I can ever recover the 3 Lost Years.

Makes me sad.