Beat Down

Hat hair
Matted grass
Shelter/rescue dogs

I am likewise beat down.

It doesn't matter how hard, how many days, how many weekend hours--I cannot seem to scale the pile of work I have to do.

I know, boo-hoo, right?

I've no answer to the problem. I've written about it many times in the past 4 years, I'm sure. This time, however, it's really wearing on me. I'd go see a shrink but that costs more time and money--and that, again, is the root of this entire problem.

So, shrink--out.

Therapeutic catharsis by way of....

1. exercise (you must be kidding)
2. creative writing (at the same keyboard I should be grading from, so...no)
3. nature hike (winter, ugh!)
4. shopping (see money, above)
5. web-surfing (see creative writing, #4 above)
6. kids (guilty about not working)
7. grilling (guilty about not working)
8. sleep? ahhhhh, there it is!

Sleep, the elixir that calms my spirit. Sleep in bliss, in ignorance--alas, that's just denial, and when I wake, I know this and feel EVEN WORSE.

So, one might ask, what exactly am I doing blogging? How is this any better than 1-8, above? Well, it's not. In fact, maybe it's worse, because it's public. Dumb idea, huh?

Regardless, here I sit, beat down.
Stalemate.
Stagnate...

Ugh--I gotta do something!

This morning at 430 when I left for work, I was of the old school workaholic plan that led me through a dark decade past. My thinking: I will work through this (literally) by applying nose to grind stone until done. Enough pressure, over enough time, applied to said stone should smush it into submission.

I mean, surely it could all be done, right, even if for only a moment (like laundry or housework).
Maybe it would be different if it paid better. As-is, this job is too often paying about like laundry or housework! Oh well, at least I have a house, right?