In the last 8 years, I've lived in 3 houses. I've cycled through 3 vehicles. I've used up countless pair of shoes, socks, underwear...I've lost two loved ones. I've spent innumerable hours in front of the computer. All that is gone. All that has left me.
Also, 8 years have passed before me. Time has been frittered, has flitted, has otherwise left the building. My hair is leaving me. My sanity is scouting the exits.
I am learning from all this. It's taken me a long, long time to get it, but as I was just looking at picture of my kids from these last 8 years, I realized something very fundamental (that I'm sure everyone else gets, upfront): My health, my life, my wife...all that may wane, but my children will be ever-with me. They will not divorce me or drop my class. They will not go away in foreclosure or be repossessed.
I find that both wonderful and alarming. It's wonderful that they will always be my progeny, my young'ns. They will always be little chemistry experiments with my DNA and creative ink. They will ever-be...me. On the other hand, it's frightening, for if I screw up on a grand scale (like, say, the 40 years of life prior to their arrival) what then? What if I am an utter failure? If they are to be ever-tied to this sinking ship, what good is that?
See why parents get wrinkles? We worry that we might be the Titanic, setting sail for an epic failure, bringing the kids down with the ship. Ugh.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment