75 hours

I ask that every student of mine to come and spend 30 minutes with me in the office this semester. By the time they all come through the door, I'll have invested about 75 hours into student appointments this term, the most ever I've attempted here at BCC. Back at the other school, I probably had more student face time than anyone there, but then I lived and breathed student engagement (maybe a little too much, since I married one, eh?)

But seriously, this has been an enormous undertaking, when it should be the simplest of things: "hey, let's jaw around about your paper, topic, life..." I've had many people ask me why I am dedicated to this, when I could just be grading (or for that matter, reading, surfing the net...writing a blog--ahem!).

I explain it like this: I think it's very, very important to know who you are learning with (and I intentionally aim this both ways, for we're both learning in a meeting one on one). I'm learning about them, their learning styles, interests, strengths and weaknesses academically, but even more, I'm learning who they are. I'm learning how to better serve them, I think.

I also require a journal of my composition students, 3 100 word entries per week, roughly. Sure, there's kicking and screaming, but it has tremendous dividends for the student (of course, or I would not assign it). It's also very valuable to me, to again get to know my clients, my students.

I cannot put a finger on how all this knowledge plays out in the classroom, in grading, in pedagogy overall. I could never write a paper about it or prove it empirically, but I am sure it's having a positive effect.

Can't have it both ways...

SO, I'm something of a person of extremes. Oh, I'm open minded about most things, not inclined to polarized rants much....but in lifestyle and pattern, I tend to run hot or cold. I am one to be all out, in deep, 100% into something.

I suppose that sounds good, as if it suggested a degree of focus, a mindset of discipline, a forthrightness that is all-Kansas.

On the other hand, the ugly misshapen hand of truth, here's what happens to me: I get so far to an extreme it's hard to switch it up, to regroup, to reconfigure, to clock out. If, for instance, I were a mercenary, I would not know my bounds, and I might knock some one off in expression of my road rage. If I were a person of the cloth, I would not be able to reach the level of purity and intimacy with my deity that seemed The Right Place to be.

And so it is with work. I can run white hot for work, burning the proverbial candle in a blast furnace frenzy of focused labor. OR, I can be unplugged at home, not even checking email for days at a time, just building stuff, playing with kids, loving home (this extreme has only recently been learned and appreciated, say, in the last 5 years).

Unfortunately, it is VERY HARD for me to switch gears. When the new semester starts, I am now finding myself like a bear coming out of hibernation (at least in the winter) or like one of those groggy people who are just not morning people (I still cannot understand them!). I go through motions, but it takes me days and days to get my game on, to charge up my workforce engines.

And, alas, now that I'm fully engaged, I'm finding it VERY HARD to go home at night. Oh, I know it's where I'd rather be, that all this work is just what I do so that I can have a home and pay the bills....but it's extremely difficult for me to disconnect, to let it go, to leave work at work.

Why is that?
Used to be, I had a job that was something of a calling, a Mission. I was leading people out of apathy, helping to do my little part to save the world through service, to burn as purely altruistic as I could. That job, of course, was impossible to leave at work, for it was a lifestyle.

But now? grading papers and designing course content? I have a hard time pulling back from it, for I know that if I do, it's just going to be that much harder tomorrow to get back up in the saddle again. I will lose hours to ramping up, when I could otherwise just stay at it a few more hours...

...but I'd rather be home (in my heart of hearts) regardless of the lost time and inefficiency of retooling and warming up to it again. The reward of home and hearth and loved ones is much more powerful.

So, I go.

George Washington's Teeth

In honor of President's Day, this passage from my favorite author:

Polysyllabic

Here are some of the polysyllabic words and phrases from my list of words (yes, I jot down words that tickle my tongue or otherwise have some added-value to me):
Licorice Limelight
Post bottom Water-logged
Wig-Wam Paddyshack
Tailspin
Circumference
Shanty town
Uber-goober
Groundswell
Earth-shaking
Hinterlands
Underbelly
Barn swallow
Bin-buster

Beat Down

Hat hair
Matted grass
Shelter/rescue dogs

I am likewise beat down.

It doesn't matter how hard, how many days, how many weekend hours--I cannot seem to scale the pile of work I have to do.

I know, boo-hoo, right?

I've no answer to the problem. I've written about it many times in the past 4 years, I'm sure. This time, however, it's really wearing on me. I'd go see a shrink but that costs more time and money--and that, again, is the root of this entire problem.

So, shrink--out.

Therapeutic catharsis by way of....

1. exercise (you must be kidding)
2. creative writing (at the same keyboard I should be grading from, so...no)
3. nature hike (winter, ugh!)
4. shopping (see money, above)
5. web-surfing (see creative writing, #4 above)
6. kids (guilty about not working)
7. grilling (guilty about not working)
8. sleep? ahhhhh, there it is!

Sleep, the elixir that calms my spirit. Sleep in bliss, in ignorance--alas, that's just denial, and when I wake, I know this and feel EVEN WORSE.

So, one might ask, what exactly am I doing blogging? How is this any better than 1-8, above? Well, it's not. In fact, maybe it's worse, because it's public. Dumb idea, huh?

Regardless, here I sit, beat down.
Stalemate.
Stagnate...

Ugh--I gotta do something!

This morning at 430 when I left for work, I was of the old school workaholic plan that led me through a dark decade past. My thinking: I will work through this (literally) by applying nose to grind stone until done. Enough pressure, over enough time, applied to said stone should smush it into submission.

I mean, surely it could all be done, right, even if for only a moment (like laundry or housework).
Maybe it would be different if it paid better. As-is, this job is too often paying about like laundry or housework! Oh well, at least I have a house, right?

The Guild

I am amused and engaged by a web series, The Guild. I have been rationing my episodes, for there are only 4 seasons of the show available (and it would consume me if I let it, like all my other viewing obsessions kept at bay). As they describe the show: A comedy web series about a group of online gamers, and how they interact online and offline. Winner of they YouTube and Yahoo best web series awards in 2008, winner of three Streamy Awards in 2009. It's a comedy written for gamers, about gamers, by a gamer. Plus it stars Felicia Day, and that alone makes for great screen time.

The show features obsessive gamers who come to interact in RL encounters they sometimes regret. One character in the show haunts me: Clara. This is the SAHM who is more into cyberspace than parenting. Of course, the show's rendition of this is over-the-top, but it resonates with me. Sometimes I may check my email or do some work online when my kids are standing by, impatiently waiting to play, etc. I want to always make flesh and blood priority over ones and zeros. At times it is difficult, for RL encounters are messy and cannot be turned off readily--and that, of course, is the point of The Guild.

Pick this episode up at about 4min in to see Clara interact with her kids:


Give it a view and review it here, too!

Peas in a Pod

My wife and I spent a romantic weekend in a bed and breakfast. For us, it would have been romantic to simply be able to converse uninterrupted (we have 4 kids) and in private (we also have 3 other adults living in our house). We were able to have free-flowing, unobstructed dialogue (the B&B was virtually unplugged, too, a reconstituted 1880's hotel, rooms were sans wifi, TV, etc.) for hours!

A result of all that is not the happy conception of yet another child.

Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Instead, we were able to compare notes on some life goals, and we were able to learn that we are, even after nearly a decade, both on the same page. In fact, we were very close on our goals, virtually synchronized. We also were able to learn each others priorities anew, too. I, for instance, did not know she still wanted to get a degree; she did not realize how very important it is to me to build onto the house.

People need time and space. Married people need some of that together. We very seldom (quarterly, semi-annually) get time like that. It was the best Valentine's gift EVER.

White Out

Why the blog blackout? Two weeks w/o a post?

I blame it on the snow, the white out. The snow as complicated my life with the burden of snow days. On the work front, that has meant reconfiguring things (takes time). On the home front that has meant playing in the snow, shoveling snow, navigating snow (all take extra time). Snow has amplified the cabin fever everyone in my house suffers from, too.

Thus, all these other factors have overwhelmed my time remaining for blogging, reading blogs, catching up on bookmarks, organizing my computer files, etc...

...and now, another snow day!

Let me clarify: I am not unhappy about a snow day. No way!

So what--I have spent time differently. It's a way I spend time in the winter that is exclusively a winter investment. Nothing to be grumbling too much about, especially when this summer I'll be battling weeds and swiping sweat from my eyes.

Snow is fun, even when shoveling it. Perhaps this is that it remains a novelty here, compared to MN or somewhere that it is a 6 month long hardship.

Not everyone gets a snow day, so yet again, I am grateful for my line of work. 3 months off in the summer, a month off in winter, a week off for spring break....and a snow day now and again! Yippee for me (and my fellow educators, who know that all this 'time off' is not really, entirely 'off' too often).

I'm going to embrace this day like I do leap day, consider it a bonus, something even more special than vacation or weekends or the rare 'personal' day. I'll do somethings differently today, and I'll hope to make the most of every moment.

Hope it snows where you are, and that you, too, can make this day special.

Balance

One of my favorite videos to discuss:

 

My discussion of this will follow after my students wrestle with it.

Life/Art "Low Rider"

I am listening to "Low Rider" by War, right now, moments before class. It's one of the songs on my Get Psyched to Teach playlist.

I bring this up only to mention that I was listening to this song for motivation years before Memphis Raines (Nicholas Cage) was even a character in Gone in 60 Seconds, well, the 2000 version, anyway.

Aaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnd they're off!

Yet another semester begins on the morrow.

I write about it every term, I think.

Few events offer such very-vivid ties to memories as a new semester, a first day of school. Oh, when I smell cantaloupe or fresh soil, I remember growing up on the farm. Visiting a grade school brings back lots of memories (and it reminds me how much I've grown since then--the furniture is so small!). A new term, though, stuns me every time. Like Johnny Mnemonic reviewing his contents, or a blipvert blast--it all comes back to me in technicolor (or maybe now-a-days, in HD, or 3D, or HD3D-Imax!)

When I walk in tomorrow, I'll remember the first college classroom in which I took the podium. It was frightening, as I was only a few years removed from my students (some, even as today, were my elders). I can still recall wading through the roster, taking roll aloud, botching a name: Chelsea (in my defense, I'd never seen it in writing before). I recall how they sat in wooden chairs with the wrap around desktop, how I tripped on one. I remember passing out recipe cards, even then, as I do to this day, to collect who's who. Remembering these things may not seem so remarkable--except that it took place in 1986--and if readers know me, I cannot remember where I parked, let alone something from the dark ages.

I will also remember my first college class--a night class in American Literature, taught by my old English teacher, in my old high school classroom, only a year after I'd graduated. I will remember the feeling of awe and confusion, that I was embarking on something I did not at all think I might be capable of doing!

I remember the second college course, too, at a large university. I was so ignorant then. I did not know what a credit hour was. I did not know it was odd that my prof was taking roll by social security number, that he treated us like grunts from day 1 to the bitter end. I was TERRIFIED, for it was Oral Communications, and I was surrounded by upperclassmen who all looked like the Bee Gees or the cool kids off the Brady Bunch. (Everyone puts off speech, which I was not advised of, and thus, I was the only freshman in the course!) I was a hick kid from Ulysses. Strangely, I do recall a fellow trying to tell the class about his hometown, Hoxie, which was even smaller than Ulysses...even now, 30 years later, that first day is forever ingrained in my memory.

For that matter, I can recall many firsts, many first days of school, all the way back to grade school...

Thus, I am NOT one to take the first day lightly. Inevitably, someone in the room will be in their first college classroom, even if I am teaching Comp II (some CLEP out, others had Comp I online or in high school, like I did my Am. Lit). I want to be a positive influence, offer a good encounter and a vivid memory for anyone who might be walking in the same shoes.

Of Libraries and the Web

As confessed previously, I have an addictive personality. I imagine that sometime over these 5 years and (coming up on) 500 entries, I've mentioned that the web is just one of my almost-addictions.

I do not think I've shared the anecdote about the library, nor my association between libraries and information online....so here goes.

When I was a young lad, I was treated to a visit to our local library. At that time, it was not very large. The childrens' reading room was about 20 x 20. That little library did, however, have enough books to keep me busy. I won't say that I read them all, but I read many, many books. Whenever possible, I would sit out winter in that library or lug home as many books as they'd allow.

Then came college.

I'd mastered my little library, and I thought I was ready for a university library. If I could read one library, cover to cover, I could handle another, so I thought. I discovered Farrell Library, at Kansas State University, to be a bit bigger. [Farrell is now known as Hale Library, btw.] In truth, it boggled my mind. I'd never even encountered a library with more than one floor, let alone stacks of 8 levels! I was told the facility stored a million books--this was my first college object lesson, actually running my finger down the spines of those million books like they were a picket fence, from the top to the bottom floor. Prior to that, I had only a vague idea of what a million might really be.

I immediately got a job working there, filing cards in the card catalog (most folks today likely do not even know what a card catalog is, sadly.) I gave tours of the place to visiting friends and family, to lost peers and hot co-eds. Many interesting things happened back in the stacks in days of yore, including streaking, smoking, and much et cetera....or so I am told.

I do want to zoom in on that first day for a moment, however, for I have seldom been so very much in awe. I've always loved the smell and sound and weight of a library, but that library, posing its million volume challenge, was so impressive. More than any classroom or college quad, more than the most prestigious ivy league facade or pompous professor--that moment in that library foyer conveyed to me the power of the written word. It was as if millions of authors were there, in person, all staring at me (or perhaps chanting, "read me! read me!").

My reaction, honestly? I darted back into the stacks and hyperventilated (big boy's word for almost wept).

Fast forward near twenty years to my growing fascination with Al Gore's Internet. It was the 1990's, and I had a monochromatic monitor, but already I was wowed by the information (text only, back then) one could extract from the ether.

A few years later, as the web put on its pretty face, I was all-the-more enamored.

Now, like that day at Farrell, I approach cyberspace in awe. Like 1981, when I felt I had to read all of the million books, I find open portholes to what seems like infinite information, all at my fingertips....and I am insatiable. I am, admittedly, hooked.

Like all my almost-addictions, I am wary. I monitor my time online just like I do my time on television. In the same way that I look away from the window of Victoria's Secret, I force myself to look away from the techno gadgets I cannot afford (but crave). I guard myself, but there are days I lose the fight. I've found myself 6 hours into a web tangle, having opened so many tabs and windows and browsers my PC even gets too tired to carry on....but this has been very rare.

I love learning, I guess that's it. I am inspired by all that is there to learn, in libraries and online...and for that matter, from others, from travel, from introspection...

Why the Y?

I pledged to attempt fitness again this year, and today I took another step in the right direction. In spite of everything being closed due to horrible weather and roads, I attended my meeting with my trainer. It was scary showing up, but I did follow through.

Next, another meeting with the trainer in a week, but I should try to get in there sometime in the meantime. (If I don't, I fear dependence on his mentoring.)

Why the Y? The El Dorado one, at that? Well, it has all the equipment, and classes, and trainers, and a pool--all at a fraction of the cost of one of the upscale gyms around here. I wish I knew why anyone would go anywhere else...maybe there's some prestige or pecking order to it? The El Dorado Y has our family's needs at heart, including homeschool PE and remedial swimming for me.

The big question is: will I stick with it? Will I flake out, like most "resolution types" who are joining up these days, only to drop out in March...? I guess time will tell.

Maybe offering this public chronicle of my efforts will keep me accountable some, too.

CraigsList

Free classified ads. A novel concept. Simple enough, but in the era of online growth, Craig Newmark's idea really caught on. Now over 50 million people use the site regularly, making it the #7'th most high ranking per site visits of all English language sites. See for yourself on their factsheet.

I got a free couch, sold a goat, found lots of lumber, gave away truckloads of garage sale left-overs...and that's just the start.

I like CL because it is non-commercial and it's very democratic (of the people, by the people, for the people). Everything's there. Unlike E-bay, which reeks of mammon, CL has freebie pages, barter pages, forums on every topic, job announcements...you name it. Over 700 cities/regions are represented globally.

I suggest browsing CL for your area of the country and your area of interest. I lurk on the farm/garden link and the one for materials (translate: stuff for my ship).

CraigsList is awesome.

What's with Pirates?

So, what's with Pirates?
Why do I thrive on pirate movies and lore? Why would I like to make myself a pirate wardrobe for a Renaissance Festival or Steampunk event?

What would lead me to build a 1/2 scale pirate ship in my back yard?

I dunno.

Last semester some student did ask me about my interest in pirates. He asked if I realized they were criminals. He questioned if it was a good idea for a faculty member to hang his hat on evil-doers.

Well, first of all, my pirating is all extra curricular, and my faculty persona cares little for pirates, probably even annoyed with their bad grammar. Yes, it is true pirates were criminals, just like software pirates and kids pirating music--all criminals. Particularly, pirates are thieves, taking away goods, merchandise, even slaves and ships. They operated under less than scrupulous circumstances, had little sense of honor or loyalty, and were always out for profit, for number one.

But they had character!

Contemporary thieves don't often find themselves lost at sea, facing mutiny, confronting an armada, being marooned for misbehavior. They don't have the flair in their wardrobe nor speech.

But Pirates--whew!!

Booty and style! Dressing up for shore? How about " a rich crimson damask waistcoat and breeches, a red feather in his cap, a gold chain around his neck, with a diamond cross hanging from it" like one famous pirate, Bartholomew Roberts (Black Bart)...he also is known for having captured over 400 ships. Henry Avery secured one haul valued at $52 million (in today's currency). Henry Morgan started as an indentured servant, but became a ruthless pirate, sentenced to two years in the Tower, eventually becoming the governor of Jamaica! Edward Teach (Blackbeard) would go into battle with fireworks blazing in his beard. Anne Bonny, a famous female pirate, bared her breasts in battle!

Like impressions of the Wild West, the era and practice of pirating has been romanticized and colorized beyond any shade of reality. I know that. Disney and the POTC franchise have once again popularized the pirate, employing none other than the lovable Johnny Depp to personify the paragon of pirating himself, Jack Sparrow.

Even if one can set aside the pirate hype, these people were fascinating.

Resolved

Resolutions are made to be broken, they say, but here are a few of mine for 2011, the last year we have to share before the world ends...

go to the Y regularly and get fit; already have appts with personal trainer, enrolling family in classes, aiming myself at swimming lessons and lap pool participation (going to join the 100 mile club)

get over apnea, the sleeping killer; I have this in aces, and the doctor and diagnostic guy said mine was severe...supposedly it's affecting my energy, concentration, and about everything else about my life (my salary?)

be a better...husband, father, teacher, farmer, steward...just be better (continuous and never-ending improvement)

recycle, for we currently put four 30 gallon trash barrels in the landfill weekly around here!

attempt to write for publication, maybe for profit--how many decades has this been on my list? now the 8 of you following me can kick me in the pants now and then

read with intention--I read a lot, about a novel a week, but it's just candy. I need to read classics again, or at least literary magazines. I'm not sure about the quantity or objective just now, but it's something on my list.

parent better--I've improved my percentage in the homeschooling of my kids, but I need to do other parenting more purposefully, too

There are many more, many unpublishables, too....maybe I'll share as I go, but I wanted to plant this flag for the new year.

Happy new year to you all!

Admiration for Education

I admire teachers of elementary school kids so much. As I continue to help with the home schooling, I've been attempting to teach my kid how to say his R's cowectly. It's hard going. We've been recalling words with R, and we've been saying them back and forth to one another. rabbit, rhino, roll, rat, race...

When his come out like a W, then I have him look at my mouth and say it like me.


Funny thing is, now he says his R's like a pirate or a stroke victim, pronouncing it from the side of his mouth. I've been told I smile crookedly, too.

He's in kindergarten, but he's learning amazing things, like rivers in India (Ganges) and all about the Taj Mahal. This is all courtesy of his homeschool curriculum from K-12, an excellent course of study that we are enrolled in through Lawrence Virtual Schools. They provide everything, down to a script, every book and resource tool, online lessons, video, music, etc...

...even with all that, I am awestruck at what 'real' teachers accomplish in elementary schools. I wonder how I ever caught on when I was a kid in a sea of others.

I could never teach elementary school, for I lack the patience.

I will work with my kids, however, from dawn to dusk.

Our house, is a very, very, very fine house...

What's being said/done around my house on Christmas eve morning....some quotes:

The way we take care of our temper is we butt heads.

I'll give anyone who finds my shoes a quarter!

I really like cookies and I wanna can of pop.

I want to open my presents in the morning--today morning--but mom won't
let me.

I would have ripped off his arms for a quarter.

Meanwhile...
Ella (18 months) is wandering around using the electric toothbrush on everything, just to feel the vibration...in the chair, on the wall, on the dog...

TRON

So many negative reviews--and they're all wrong.

I watched Tron Legacy last night and was transfixed from beginning to end. Yes, it was mostly eye candy that mesmerized me, but hey, that's why I went to see it in 3D on an IMAX screen (purportedly the biggest in the USA).

The theatre was sold out, as it has been for every showing since it opened last week. The theatre seems huge, and there were 3 in my party, walking in at 7, showtime, just before the previews rolled. We found two chairs and an ample hole by the wall, just right for us. Sitting by the wall usually spells doom for movie viewing, but in this case, due to the screen, 3D, etc...it was almost as good as sitting dead center. An added value, according to my son, was the wall vibrating and rumbling with the absolutely excellent sound.

Bill Warren himself (whom I have trouble with, personally, for charging too damn much for kids and otherwise seeming like a greedy movie mogul)...but nonetheless, he, himself gave us a little pep talk before the show--which was kinda cool.

The film itself is a visual and auditory feast. The story line is adequately engaging, especially for those of us who remember something of the original film. I'm sure it's even more valuable for those computer geeks out there who know the ins/outs of users and programs, etc. much more intimately than I do.

At any rate, it was a very groovy experience. I look at it as a trial run for the film I really want to see in that environment (though it's not been confirmed: Avatar 2 in 3D Imax). For that matter, I'd like to see Inception in there, maybe...or about a dozen other movies.

Movies are my weakness. Good thing I'm poor.

It was especially fun taking a friend along who has not been to a theatre in a couple of years, who has never seen a 3D film, and could not remember an Imax event. For him, it was culture shock, and a very good ride.

My 8 year old has yet to quit babbling about it. He was blown away!

Go see it before listening to the naysayers.

Day Out, chapter 2

My adventures continued with the rest of the kids. Well, the 18 month old, Ella, just got her day jumbled into a family day out, but it still counted. We went to the Wichita Art Museum for their free Saturday family day, and I must say, it was great. Even if it hadn't been Christmas, there was a lot to do, a lot to see, and we have an open door now for monthly craft project days, etc we did not previously even know about!

Art is so ageless. I do not mean over centuries, but over generations. My mother might make a work of art that her grandchildren might equally appreciate, or create. It was clear to me, again, when the kids made some cool tempera paintings with an emphasis on texture. Art is subjective, to be sure--one man's art is another man's children's doodle. I am proud of the works my kids made last Saturday (they're hanging in the kitchen). Art is also very individually expressive. Though the three boys had the same tools and paint palette, the results were wildly different. Engaging in art is also one of those opportunities for each individual to come out, to come into their own. Eddie, the three year old, really took to the activity like I've seldom seen him do with crafts. It was great.

Speaking of Eddie, his day, the fourth and final in the series, was fun. We opted for Chuckie Cheese to play games, then went to Wichita's only true toy store, Imagine That! That place is awesome, for they encourage kids to play while they are there. Afterwards we went to a fast food Mexican food place. Eddie's day out was fun, for he's really getting more personality and becoming a better communicator, too.

With Ella's day, a new horror presented itself, something I'm not ready to man-up and deal with: a daughter on Daddy Day Out! Yikes. What will I do? How will I cope? I was glad to have the whole family this year, and I do want to become more comfortable with her...but what? how? I fear this, yet she impressed me yesterday by slamming together action figures just like her brothers. She's yet to talk, really, but she does a fierce imitation of expletives sometimes. Maybe being daddy to her won't be that different from being one for the boys.