Adjust your sphincter for this one!
Here I've been forewarning of the problems of prosperity, of profiteering, of media manipulation...and all along, it would seem, I've been fearful of trivial pursuits, rather than a bigger issue: peak oil.
I suggest you google or Utube the topic. Don't take my word for it.
Sources have long predicted that our oil supply is in peril. I can actually remember this from back in the 1970's. What I did not recall was a particularly chilling date range for the decline of our reserves. Some are now predicting it will dry up w/n the next 40 years. Now, maybe I didn't care back in the 70's (for a variety of reasons, not limited to youthful indestructability), but I care now. Though I may not be alive in 40 years, I bet my boys will be.
The sad thing, to me, is that this issue seems much like global warming, politics in general, etc...how is an individual to address it? I can no sooner stop global warming by recycling than I can make the political system honest with my vote tomorrow. I'd guess I'm not alone in feeling overwhelmed by the doom/gloom and the microscopic difference I might make.
Lately, however, I've been talking w/my wife about living by principles. If a person were to truly do that (an aware, enlightened person), then it wouldn't matter if that individual's impact would really affect the big picture. It would matter solely to him/her. That noted, perhaps I need to begin living by principle (see Prosperity entry) and not by denial.
There are respectable movements afoot, including relocalizing, which I find admirable if not a little hard to practice. I've spoken with like-minded friends for twenty years about some kind of alternative community. Last year I was on a kick of Tiny Houses, and I still am entertaining that (even as we are trying to build on to our current home to better accommodate 3 kids and a scrapbooking hobby). All of this seems better than simply wringing one's hands.
...and that's just the beginning. I know full-well that smoking is killing me, yet I do it, even aware that it supports a giant, heartless corporate empire all-the-while. I also eat fast food and prepared food packed with nastiness. Even when I eat well, I eat like an American, packing it in and moving to the living room television altar all-too-soon. I should, instead, be living the SlowFood lifestyle, and I know it!
AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
It all goes back to me being rather too black/white, an absolutist. It drives family and friends crazy. I am seeking informed advice on how to cope with reality from you, gentle reader. What is one to DO in light of all the doom and gloom? How is one to sleep at night, feeling as if one's principles are intact? I seem never to be able to simply settle on 'good enough,' and that leaves me (when I allow myself to slow down and entertain ideas) very disappointed in myself. How can I feel I lead a good model for my kids, after all?
Your thoughts are coveted.
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1 comment:
Well Mark, this was a pretty interesting entry. Many of your thoughts are ones I've entertained myself.
Every so often, whenever I have a second to myself to just think, reality will introduce itself. Often, I manage to maintain a sense of urgency and accomplisment while I'm in school, or at work, respectively. I feel like I'm doing something worthwhile when I'm busy. But then, when school is out, and work is over, and I have nothing I desperately need to do, life hits me. When this occurs I become intensely aware of how little it all matters. In a hundred years, no one alive will even remember me. But my existence aside, will the world I live in remain through time? Am I just a contributing factor in the destruction of life, the only thing that I can say inspires my every move? Sometimes, the certainty is so overwhelming I just cry. But those moments don't come around very often, and when they leave it's as if they were never there. But a small piece of helplessness lingers on, remaining deep in my subconscious, only to resurface again when I least expect it. This is the piece that keeps me in check. It's the piece that reminds me what's important, and helps me keep trying to do better.
I always set out to do so much, and I always ended up failing most of the tasks I set out to do, but somehow I keep trying. I've tried my hand out quitting smoking multiple times, but haven't been able to beat it. I'm always balancing dieting with self gratification. These struggles are constants, and will remain that way. It's just apart of the human condition. It's not that we don't measure up that matters. IT's that we keep trying to measure up; keep trying to be complete.
I know I'm a bit rambly and subjective, but sometimes I get carried away! What really gives me security is that though I might not even exist as a memory in years to come, I do exist now. Somehow, whether by chance or by the divine, I was able to exist. That's a powerful thing to me. Rightly, nothing should exist. But something does, and I'm apart of that something.
peace and good luck with the soul searching./
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