Anticipation

I am one who anticipates. That is, I look forward to things. In this, I seem to get more out of something than I would if I just found myself in the middle of something happening and said, "wow." Here's how it goes: I'm up overnight revved up for action, ready to go. I am currently on such a high looking forward to trimming trees from a bucket truck, mowing my yard, and running electrical lines to our barn. Geez. That's what I so eagerly anticipate? (I remember the days I'd be looking forward to spending the weekend with a girlfriend.)

I try to suppress my enthusiasm sometimes, like when I'm anticipating a good movie release--to protect myself. What if it's a dud film? I self-govern, too, for my anticipation sometimes rattles the nerves of my loved ones. All I can think of is when Clark Grizwauld went to Wally World--I have melt downs something like that when I've anticipated something so very much, then been let down.

Some live their whole lives self-governing and otherwise choking back enthusiasm, for that let-down-feeling is too much for them. They cannot afford the vulnerability. If I lived so prophylactically, I'd be bored. I'd miss much of the juice of life, I think.

Enough of this, I think I'll do a tree assessment from memory (like counting sheep).