Well, my best friend warned me of this. He said that my kids would turn on me. (He predicted this when kids strike the teens, however, and it's happening NOW.)
I am not prepared for this. Neither is my wife. No one is, I have learned. We all need more schooling on parenting. Why is it always considered to be a seat of the pants, trial and error enterprise? Why do we all just shrug and "do our best" when we can?
I want to get a degree in fatherhood. I want to learn from someone who's really good at it. Instead, I take time out of my free time to watch movies, work on the pirate ship, sleep...when The Most Important facet of my life, parenting, is neglected.
I know that every situation is full of variables, and I am aware that no two kids are the same, let alone parallel households. None of that should serve as an excuse, however.
I listened to a great TED talk in which a father set up cameras throughout his home to document how his child acquired vocabulary. It was a very intricate study over the course of a year. I wish there were MANY more such studies on EVERY aspect of child rearing. Sometimes I wish I were always on camera, always accountable, for it might make me a better parent. (I've had too many embarrassing outbursts in these 8 years, already, and I regret them all.)
How can I attend to my calling, parenting, when life is so cluttered with everything incidental? How can I find reliable resources, not some quack cashing in on anxious parents?
Right now my kids are needing discipline, and I liberally apply it, but I think it is not done well. A friend of mine never raises his voice (when he and family visit) and yet his kids are shiny-well-behaved. I want to know his secret.
I want all the secrets of parenting....NOW.
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You are like a super involved father, so no problem there. I do not know about your friend but it could be that he simply has mellower kids. Lets face it, the smartest kids are usually the pain in the neck ones. My kids will tell you that I was strict on one hand and lenient on the other. For safety reasons or if they were driving me nuts I was strict. But I like to have fun too so then I was easy going. Parents do the best they can, that is the bottom line. My brother and his wife were very involved parents who set great examples. Their oldest son died of a drug overdose and the younger went to rehab. The difference between my college attending, non-drinking/drug using kids and their drug using cousins that I can see is the public school system. My kids were homeschooled.
Do what you think is best. Love them a lot. Don't let them run the household or drive you or anyone else crazy. It will be fine. And always remember, they are individuals and parents can only do so much.
Now that was long. I have to go write a paper on Who I am? for a creative art class. It is the second paper on this topic and it is annoying. Maybe it is none of their business. ;)
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