1/31/12

And so it ends, the first month of this new year. I usually save my lamenting for the end of semesters or the end of years, but nuts--I am going to miss this January. Maybe having a monthly reflection is not such a bad idea, if I can keep it out of the mire of regret.

This January was the warmest I can recall (but then again, I do not know where I parked my truck). It's been a month of resettling into my office (my now glammed-out office, complete with paint and pictures and--well, you get the idea). It's a new term with new faces and that's always refreshing and motivating. We're just now starting to dig in for the long haul (already at the 3rd week mark). I've ALMOST kept my poem-a-day pledge, falling short only here in the last few days as I've battled this virus. I've recorded stories told to my kids faithfully. I've harnessed my wrath, my anxiety, my enthusiasm....

....but then, I've not been the ideal dad (not a reasonable goal, I know). I've not been exercising, even though I continue to pay for it and continue to envy my friends' reports on Facebook of 80 lbs lost here/there. I've not read much of a stimulating nature (outside of some great poems). I've not done anything special for myself or my wife.

So there's room to grow, I suppose. Nothing substantial to bemoan or regret--yet.

Farewell, January. I leave you without too many resolutions broken.

Down with the Sickness

Well, what's worse than a winter without winter? Answer: winter cold and flu without winter. Ohhhh I hates me a bad cold/flu, regardless of season, but when the whole family is plagued with it, I find it ten times more aggravating when it's so nice, so warm, so dry outside--yet inside where we're harbored, it's sticky and slimy with the mucus of wet coughs. Ugh.

What's even worse than that? Answer: when little kids get sick.

Before I made babies, I did not know how they worked. I was so distant that I had never held one until (at the age of 40) I held my own. I had no idea how very dependent they are, how very ignorant they can be. A kid can be startled by their own cough. They can toss their cookies all over themselves and not even realize they have (some) control of the outcome.

So it is in my house. The two year old cries because she does not know how to whine about being sick. The four year old (just turned five, technically) whines because he's uncomfortable. The six year old pretends he isn't sick, which compounds his ill health when he wears himself down. The nine year old curses the heavens and suppresses his cough until he nigh bursts. Ma in her kerchief and I in my cap--well, we just groan and feebly smile at each other.

Hmm, what's worse than all the above? Answer: going to work by day, nursing said cold/flu among the family by night. I don't know how super heroes do it.

Hoping for an awakening

Some days are so dismal, so pedestrian--or worse--so obviously void of any come-uppance whatsoever. I think, on these days which are increasingly common, that there might some day be a great awakening. I hope that I might roll out of bed a new man, responsible for myself and my surroundings. I wish I were suddenly inoculated with the will and wisdom to act uprightly and take the reins, to reinvent myself overnight. This is what I need--a suddenness as sharp as a tornado tip that could flip this house on the witch that is misguiding me.

Instead I blog and bog and mulk and mire, drowning in my misspent desire and burned out fire. I think, therefore I am, but what exactly am I besides tired?

George Washington

I just finished reading my first serious biography in some too many years. I feel like a complete ninny when it comes to history. Why? Because when I was in high school and college, I did not take such subjects seriously. (This is funny b/c my son, only 9, knows more about history than I ever did!)

George Washington was not only a great president, he also had the fate of the republic in his hands. He was repeatedly extended the offer of King, but he was absolutely against it, even if it might have made for smoother sailing in the short run, it would have undermined all he and those fighting the revolution had worked for. (I don't think I could turn down a throne, personally.)

I also learned much of how Hamilton, Arnold, Jefferson and others worked together (and sometimes at odds).

I was such an idiot, I guess I thought it was all said-and-done with 1776 and the Declaration of Independence. I now know it was prolonged, and I'm going to learn much more on my new history quest!

Annual reaming

As per the circadian rhythms of the digital realm, my PC died last week, as often happens to me at these most critical times. I have not gotten any smarter. I have not backed up content well. I did not even take a screen cap of all the program files I'd found and downloaded. *sigh*

Fortunately this is not my home PC, so there are genius-level tech support people here who restored the files I'd created (thousands).

Regardless, I feel nauseous every time this happens to me. I resolve to put more in the cloud, to back up content faithfully, etc. This time, I've already outsmarted all download and save functions to toss it all to the cloud and/or to an external hard drive. All my bookmarks are in the cloud via several tools (diigo, delicious, google bookmarks, evernote, etc.).

I'm sure glad nothing like this happens to me, personally. Imagine if your memory were wiped. This did happen to a friend of mine who suffered a brain aneurysm. She did not even remember how to eat, how to tie her shoes, etc.

At least my PC can still tie its shoes.

Poetry Challenge

I'm embarking on a new year's resolution to emulate a published poet every day. None of what I've cranked out so far bears even honorable mention, but I may, someday, put one up here or ship one out to a lit mag....who knows.

I'm posting this here to keep myself accountable. If I look back on this post in months to come, and I hang my head, well, that will just stink. Hopefully I will be able to keep imitating. They say if one can practice something for a month, it can become habitual.

Here's to habitual poetry!

Things I learned today

Frozen shrimp grouped neatly on a circular serving tray would make a great weapon--my wife asked me to break the arrangement up, and I grasped it only to learn all those little pointy shrimp tails were ever-more firm and lethal when frozen in position. It was like grabbing a cactus.

Working with play-dough, I was able to craft many things in 3D. I think I'm a frustrated 3D sculptor with no training, no context, just a simmering passion for it every time I encounter it in a museum or piddle with anything 3D, myself, in person.

My son tells me it's possible to swim in syrup--this from Myth-busters.

I liked hanging out with my wife (sewing) and 3 of my kids (engaged in crafts ranging from scrap booking to performing plays with cut out pirate figures). I was working on some online work alongside their very rambunctious ramblings. All five of us were in a 9x12 room, but we fit comfortably and had a great afternoon together.