Choose to Matter

There are people who pass through our lives, who mean something to us, and then move on. Some are familiar family figures, others teachers or preachers, some just a toll booth collector or regular clerk at a store. They matter because they engage us, even if for a fleeting moment. They matter because (at least in my case) they brighten my life or bring a level of person-hood and personality to our interactions.

Some who have had such a prominent role in my life are not ever going to make it into the history books. Most won't make it into any book--except the phone book. Some of these folks will not be remembered by even 100 people when they move on. They may not have been civic leaders, church deacons, or public figures in any way...often the people who have mattered in my life have not even had glamorous jobs. In my interactions, they have often been farmers, factory workers, and of course, teachers.

What all the prominent people have had was a level of charisma and character I aspire to. They are individuals cut from a different bolt of cloth than the average, everyday passerby. They stand out because they are unique, sure, but also because they have taken the time (even an instant) to be a true person rather than relegated to their roles.

For example, there's a waitress in Arkansas City who was so very good at her job she knew our order, even after a year of us not going to her restaurant. She "knew" us, and she even "adopted" our little boy, loving him so much she'd carry him around on her hip as she refreshed people's coffee.

Then there's this woman at McDonalds in Park City. She has come to recognize our extended family and makes small talk with us every time we are at the counter. Even under the pressures of the fast food industry, she is gracefully engaging.

Our barber is a humble and talkative man who always keeps a running history of our lives and remembers our names and conversations. Though I only see him monthly, and the boys even less often, he is like family, and he cares.

Of the many people in my family tree, there is one man who really stands out as an individual who mattered to many of us: Uncle Edwin. His distinguishing feature was, above all, his sense of humor, even on his death bed this last week. [Anecdote: he was taken suddenly by ambulance to the hospital. A neighbor who worked for the police K9 unit then took Edwin's wife to the hospital soon after. When Edwin learned of her mode of transport, he asked her: "Did you have to ride in the cage?" That's just him, a cut-up 'til the end.] I've sat around reflecting on my encounters with him, and I cannot think of any time in over 40 years when he did not make me laugh.

Edwin was not a rich man, materially. He is not famous, not even too well-known even in his hometown, I'd venture. He always worked physical, demanding jobs that did not award him with accolades and gold watches. However, he kept it together for over 90 years, and he made an impact. He was an avid woodworker, story teller, fisherman, traveler, and all-around family man. The picture that will be used in his obituary and likely at his funeral is one of him smiling broadly, and that is a great representation of him, for he was always happy.

I admire people like these, people who, on a daily basis, choose to Matter.