Choose to Matter

There are people who pass through our lives, who mean something to us, and then move on. Some are familiar family figures, others teachers or preachers, some just a toll booth collector or regular clerk at a store. They matter because they engage us, even if for a fleeting moment. They matter because (at least in my case) they brighten my life or bring a level of person-hood and personality to our interactions.

Some who have had such a prominent role in my life are not ever going to make it into the history books. Most won't make it into any book--except the phone book. Some of these folks will not be remembered by even 100 people when they move on. They may not have been civic leaders, church deacons, or public figures in any way...often the people who have mattered in my life have not even had glamorous jobs. In my interactions, they have often been farmers, factory workers, and of course, teachers.

What all the prominent people have had was a level of charisma and character I aspire to. They are individuals cut from a different bolt of cloth than the average, everyday passerby. They stand out because they are unique, sure, but also because they have taken the time (even an instant) to be a true person rather than relegated to their roles.

For example, there's a waitress in Arkansas City who was so very good at her job she knew our order, even after a year of us not going to her restaurant. She "knew" us, and she even "adopted" our little boy, loving him so much she'd carry him around on her hip as she refreshed people's coffee.

Then there's this woman at McDonalds in Park City. She has come to recognize our extended family and makes small talk with us every time we are at the counter. Even under the pressures of the fast food industry, she is gracefully engaging.

Our barber is a humble and talkative man who always keeps a running history of our lives and remembers our names and conversations. Though I only see him monthly, and the boys even less often, he is like family, and he cares.

Of the many people in my family tree, there is one man who really stands out as an individual who mattered to many of us: Uncle Edwin. His distinguishing feature was, above all, his sense of humor, even on his death bed this last week. [Anecdote: he was taken suddenly by ambulance to the hospital. A neighbor who worked for the police K9 unit then took Edwin's wife to the hospital soon after. When Edwin learned of her mode of transport, he asked her: "Did you have to ride in the cage?" That's just him, a cut-up 'til the end.] I've sat around reflecting on my encounters with him, and I cannot think of any time in over 40 years when he did not make me laugh.

Edwin was not a rich man, materially. He is not famous, not even too well-known even in his hometown, I'd venture. He always worked physical, demanding jobs that did not award him with accolades and gold watches. However, he kept it together for over 90 years, and he made an impact. He was an avid woodworker, story teller, fisherman, traveler, and all-around family man. The picture that will be used in his obituary and likely at his funeral is one of him smiling broadly, and that is a great representation of him, for he was always happy.

I admire people like these, people who, on a daily basis, choose to Matter.

Traditions

Seems I can never feel I'm doing enough with / for my kids. Those days when I go home exhausted and grumpy stand out in my memory, times when I just sit and growl single syllable answers to their wonders of the world. I guess what I tend to forget are the little things they value so much, like:

• Dance Night (usually Monday)
• Wrestling Night (usually Tuesday)
• Sock Mace Fight Night (often Saturday)
• Movie Night (weekly, usually when I'm too pooped for anything else)
• Game Night and Day (daily, lately as it gets colder outside)
• Story telling--EVERY night for over six years now
• Bath Night (alternating nights)
• Donut Saturday mornings
• Big-Breakfast Sunday mornings
• Big monthly birthday celebrations
• Gingerbread House making (Christmas)
• Fire pit parties
• Walks on the trail
• Home Depot project Saturday (1st Sat of the month)

...and I guess in listing these I do feel a little better, for each gives me reason to reflect and smile....like yesterday when we played Uno with our toes, the baby and the beagle. Or when we made a game of Toro from tossing things at someone, sort of like dodge ball in the house...or when during bath night Edison was just cracking up at my chicken imitation.

Today when I get off work, I'm to go to the thrift stores for Scarecrow wardrobing and effects, for this is the day of our 2nd annual Tradition: scarecrow and jackolantern makin' good times. Last year it was colder and we got a bit testy. The pictures bring up so much fun from it, though, and I'm positive today with be a great time. I think, now, as the Moment approaches, I revere it, and hopefully I can embrace it and realize that we're building traditions and making memories. I will make it a big priority today, try hard not to be gruff or tired or impatient. After all, these traditions can be adopted by my kids and carried on some day, and I wouldn't want a deadbeat dad to be part of the tradition!

Malaise these days...

Being overwhelmed for a night or weekend is tolerable. Being in this state for months, well...it creates a sinking sensation to say the least. Knowing that you are stuck in a rut and you can't get out of it is very heavy on the heart. Forcing euphoria and enthusiasm is only short lived, then when the party is pooped, darkness descends. It takes an enormous amount of energy to ramp back up for the next week, to sustain an impression, and thus, the crashes are all the darker and deeper when they happen.

I'm tired. I'm on cold medication making me more tired. I'm overdue for a nap, in fact, but cannot sleep due to a cough. I was up most of the night entertaining ideas and fighting off this overwhelming gloom of being too far behind to ever catch up, realizing even if I do, it will continue to mount up; even if I were on top of all that, even teaching a double load my earning potential is only half what our family needs. THAT gets very overwhelming, combining work and money.

At least when I hit the wall I just curl up and sleep. Used to be, I'd literally hit the wall, throw things, break knuckles and the like. Now I just melt into me and shut the whole world out.

ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

The Invention of Lying

I saw one trailer for this film and thought it was a clever concept. I did not give it much more thought, did not consider the natural extension of the premise to encompass dating, religion, advertising, banking and commerce...but the film delivered on all this and much more!

What I thought might simply be an entertaining comedy proved to be a very thought-provoking journey into Truth and consequences. Yes, it had a love story to engage more box office (and frankly, seeing Jennifer Garner in her role was refreshing and enjoyable, for certain). Yes, it had some goofy comedic bits around the bar that I did not need.

On the whole, however, this movie is going to be one I show classes for film analysis and group discussion. My go-to favorites like Stranger than Fiction and Being There have new company!

Think Tank

SO, yesterday I attended a session at our Institutional Development Day. It was billed as an invitation to the college's new initiative: a think tank. Definitions and descriptions seemed to evade the group for most of the session; however, colleagues and I brainstormed other descriptive words that seem not to have made the cut: Think-
-vat
-hole
-stew
-bog
...and my personal favorite, Think-tub. This last conjures up delightful images of a group of innovative thinkers engaged in "ideation" as they soak in a hot tub, sipping their favorite beverages.

If only it were so.

Instead, our troupe trooped into oblivion and came back 90 minutes later somewhat worse for the wear. We were at odds with one another, the institution, and the world in general after our basking in the brine of boiling ideas.

Here's what I walked away with: we came to embrace the idea that the membership of the tank must have decision makers aboard, yet it must be an organization that is organic and fluid in nature. It would be tasked with shaking down good ideas to address key issues posed to the group on a regular basis. The tank would be populated with innovators, free thinkers, but also with critically minded individuals who could really give a thought some thought. Ideas presented would be to help "build a better Butler," which is vague, but wide-opened, and these ideas would be prioritized, reviewed, executed upon, added to...

...in other words, it was a more grass-roots version of the structure we've been building since I arrived here, that has 4 Priorities with Initiatives and goals underneath, presented to- and then groomed by- an executive council.

Two things were important, from what I could gather: 1) we need to insure every idea is given air and (more importantly) feedback whether acted upon or not. 2)we need to feel the current exec. council or whatever body is managing the current structure has everyday folk on it in equal number to the deans and bean counters.

Overall, it reminded me how very important feedback can be. I need to take that into my teaching, my home, and my life in general.

Pandora, Begorrah!

Click "TEXT VIEW" in the box above for most engaging results. Click any title and Pandora takes you to information and a sample. "VISUALIZER" is cool, too, though less informative.

"Quick, who's the one person who has been nominated for an Oscar more often than anyone else in any category? That would be composer John Williams, nominated over 40 times for his original film scores and orchestrations. He received his first Oscar nomination in 1969 for the score to Valley of the Dolls, and since then he has become the most recognized film composer in history, not just because of his scores, but also because he has successfully followed in Arthur Fiedler's footsteps as conductor of the Boston Pops Orchestra." --from Pandora (which provides a bio of nearly every artist on their site)

Here's a product endorsement: get Pandora! It's free, and it has introduced me to more new music than I can begin to list here. I also like listening to various internet radio stations, iTunes, tuning into LastFM and a variety of podcasts, but Pandora is my favorite. Why? This site features the Music Genome Project that intuitively calls up songs you're likely to like (and wow, is it accurate!) Up until this fall it was a commercial free, bug-free site. Now there's a tiny commercial every 1/2 hr or so, but it's not bothersome. The only fault of Pandora is a fault of my own: bandwith. That's all that's ever stopped Pandora from being a high performance machine!

Now back to John Williams. From Star Wars to Indiana Jones, from Superman to Jaws, Williams is all that! Pandora's music genome project has further led me to parallel artists from Hans Zimmerman, Philip Glass, Danny Elfman and Jerry Goldsmith to lesser-knowns like Jeff Johnson.

I am so impressed with his work that I have a John Williams station at Pandora, and it plays hours of epic soundtrack tunes just like I need when I'm contemplating the origins of the universe or grading papers...like I should be now!

Zoot me up!

So, waiting for inspiration for a blog entry, I was listening to my Pandora station patterned after the Cherry Poppin' Daddies, "Zoot Suit Riot." I really love modern swing music like this! Royal Crown Review, Brian Setzer, Swing Cats, Squirrel Nut Zippers, Big Bad Voodoo Daddy...the list goes on and on. The music, even the subculture, is sassy, fun-loving, fast-moving, and all-around, a good time. If I had money to burn, I'd be going to swing lessons, hanging out with the local swing dancers (not those kind of swingers) and even wearing the wardrobe, from a jauntily tipped, wide brimmed fedora to spats, the zoot suit.

On a whim, I thought I'd explore exactly what "zoot" meant. In a couple minutes of research, I learned that it was likely nothing more than a play on words to create a name for a particular style of suit that was evolving in the 1930's and migrating to the west coast by about 1940. I was well aware of the style, but I was absolutely floored to learn of the race riots associated with the zoot suit. What I thought was just a silly song actually commemorated true Zoot Suit Riots of 1943 in Los Angeles. Originating in a dubious death of a Latino, possibly a racial hate crime, it quickly escalated to include thousands of US navy and marines marching through the streets--not in an act of Marshall Law, bringing peace or controlling looting or something like the national guard might do...but systematically dragging out at cudgeling every Latino they could find, most particularly targeting the pachuco, that is, the zoot-suit-wearing sassy street kids (we'd now consider very well dressed gang members) of Latino ethnicity.

That was well-within my dad's lifetime. It was not something that happened before telephones and cars. Instead, like the civil rights brawls of the 1960's (well-within MY lifetime), these altercations were in the news, and people were well aware of them. I am continuously surprised to realize how young our civilized nation really is. As I get older, I find myself compressing the timeline I once telescoped. 20, 40, 100 years don't seem to take too long to me now. I am shocked at how brutal our culture once was, and I cannot fathom what it may be like in another 50 years.

Bob the Builder

image source

Okay, my name's not Bob, but my son's super hero is surely Bob the Builder. I'm starting to feel more and more like ol' Bob myself. I've always had a penchant for fixing things, regardless of my skill level. When I was 7, I started making club houses on my daddy's farm, usually converting a long-forgotten and neglected room in an outbuilding. (I think my dad commissioned me for two reasons, now that I think about it: a)kept me out of his hair and b)he would get a terribly filthy room cleaned up for free!)

I built fence, corrals, sheds, engines, dog houses, bird houses, book shelves, desks, bunk beds--to say nothing of things I've fixed. This is not to say I'm very good at any of it, but hey, I try. I find it inspirational, like a good bargain.

Cue yesterday: I responded to a Craig's List offering of "building material left overs" and WOW did we score! We have (so far) scavenged a pickup load of lumber and finish trim, exterior doors, etc. There are still VERY LARGE windows and some great limestone I'm looking at there, too. Also, yesterday I secured permission for a big score of very sturdy pallets. (Frequent readers know what these are for--everything!) I have also found a pile of extremely thick and large utility poles, which I really want but cannot fathom how to lift/transport.

My son, the Bob the Builder fan, went along with his papa and I on this scavenging operation, and he was so very happy. He was amazed at all the great free stuff. He spent the entire time we were there asking me what this was, what that was, could we take x or y or z, loading scrap wood into the pickup. He got filthy and he got splinters, but he was so very happy. Who needs Disney world when you have some free building materials!?

And I have building projects afoot:
1) get basement impervious to snakes, mice, etc
2) build pirate ship playground
3) enclose carport project
4) build tractor/hay shelter
5) build a dojo

This last entry is one I've been eager to do for some time. I still think using free materials, recycled materials, and natural materials works best for both my aesthetic and budget. This dojo idea would seem to benefit from the spirit of such beliefs, too. Something about charity and recycling, from the frame to the finish work, really makes me think a structure will have a good spirit. Like the Habitat homes I used to work on.

So, I'd best put on my overalls, tool belt and hard hat. Can we fix it?

YES WE CAN.

Send me to glory in a GLAD bag...

...don't waste no fancy coffin on my bones,
just put me out on the curb next Tuesday,
'an let the sanitation local bear me home.

Here's the whole song, performed in Concordia, Kansas (bonus!) by "Scenic Roots":


Okay, here's the thing. I've long held that it was an odd idea to be hermetically sealed in a vault, to even pay the funeral industry such coin for embalming and all the horrors associated with that. (Read "The American Way of Death" like I did in college, if you want an eye-opener!) What's the point of preserving my corpse in such an air-tight, sanitary way, when my life was lived at large in the elements?


Amy Eckert/Getty Images

Today's rant was inspired by today's news, about a beetle that is quick on the site to process the dead, as heard on NPR... Go here for the full coverage on NPR, including some intriguing links, songs, images, etc... http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=112894124 (In case the links "die," the story was titled "To Casket or Not to Casket," airing 10/9/09.)

I am something of a mortuary science aficionado. One of my biggest garage sale scores was the purchase of the training materials/notebook of a mortician from the 1940's. That documentation discussed uses of auto-body putty and paint, sewing shut some orifices and breaking bones to make for better a better fit into the box, etc...and that, my friends, is primary research, not some rumor or article, but the genuine article. I do not believe much has changed in the carnage of that "industry."

So, this is my living will, until I get a more official one: just pitch me out into the compost pile. Spare me the indignity. Let my body become again a part of the world around me...or I guess you could dice me up for organ donation first, then toss the rest in the compost pile.

Garage Sales -- 2009 Season review

I have written about them before, so this entry is likely just a brag sheet. Just last weekend, we landed at a very, very good sale (even in the post-season!) that offered us a lot of kids clothes, novels, costumes, and a coffee table I have been looking for for years (but had to leave behind, for I've no room for it in our house right now. The sale was a 3 household sale, and it was the most organized sale we'd seen all summer, maybe in years. Merchandise was organized by department, there was a check out area, there was a "holding table" for those of us who were gathering up so very much stuff it was too much to carry around as we shopped. Best of all, it was 1/2 price day, yet they still had so very many, very good items!

The only sale that possibly beat that one was a pre-season sale in which I was lucky enough to buy something like 20 classic hardback books for fifty-cents each! They are awesome! They are part of a collection people bought up, likely in the '60's from the Heritage Club. I'd been picking up one or two of these at a time, over the years, but at that sale, I hit the motherload. I was even selective, leaving a dozen or more behind (now I regret that, just because I'd like the whole set).

I also haunt Craig's List and I missed a great collection of those "Lawyer books" that would fill a whole bookcase with 200 impressive looking leather-bound hardcover books--of course, I don't have room for them, and I don't need them, but it would have been nice decor for home or office. Oh well, I am confident they will come around again.

The season was a great one, and we only went out a few times (due to $, time, and our whole entourage). We bought a $120 kids picnic table for $8. We found a few treasures we'd been wanting. The kids bought way too many toys. Best of all, it was family time that was affordable and (strangely) profitable, too. Good times!

10 years from now...

Ten years seems like a very long time, until I'm watching VH1 or listening to the "oldies" or watching syndicated television shows which bring it all back to me. Age brings perspective, too, and with that (hopefully) wisdom.

I've assigned this, and I've done this before ('just found one recently from 1986--boy did that go in a different direction!). I find it to be healthy, that it can contribute to positive goal tending, to put some prognostications into print like this, so here goes...

My kids will be 16, 14, 12 and 10.
I will be 58--geez, CRYPT KEEPER.
It will be 2019 (unless the world ends in 2012).
I'll have known my best friend for over 50 years!

I will have established a sustainable lifestyle and be (able to be) off the grid.
We will have livestock, gardens, storage, etc. and arranged bartering.
My kids will have gone through 4H (and maybe scouts) and be equipped!
I will have an established tree row and berm to block the highway noise.
I'll have written something fiction, something book-length, published.
My house will be at least 1000 sqft larger.
I'll have made it through my reading list.
Finances will be secure and comfortable.
My mortgage will be paid off (whew, wonder how that will happen!)
Online instruction will be my mainstay--giving me more time with family.

A child's art

I've been trying to formulate this for some while...Artistic Expression of Children who cannot yet write....there's got to be a better way to say that...amazes me.

My boys have AMPLE language skills, verbally. They can talk a stone into dust. They can out-talk and out-think their daddy. They have a story for everything. So far, however, they cannot put those ideas into written words.

They can, however, (with increasing aptitude) record ideas in images. These pictures they color are Significant to them, though I cannot tease meaning from them without the artist providing a narrative and explanation. (I have taken to writing the interpretation on the back, in pencil, along with the date.)

I wonder if the same image, these seemingly abstract "doodles," will represent the same ideas, stories, etc. to the artist in ten years. (I do not know, first hand, for I've never seen one of my childhood scribbles.) Will my boy be able to pick up some ink-blot looking picture he crafted and still know what it represents? What will it mean to him then? I have found these images can still carry significance over two years, experimenting on my six year old.

I used to wonder why parents put up such scribbles. Now I know. It puts that child that much closer to my proximity. I have something of their signature work at an arm's reach, while the child himself is 20 miles away. I can run my hand over the deep impressions of the colored pencil and almost feel his helter-skelter sketching. I can almost hear his voice telling me all about the picture.

Their stories, thoughts, and dreams can all be captured in these artistic artifacts, even before they learn to write all this in the code of written language. I wish my baby, who cannot even speak yet, could draw a little something. It would be fascinating to see how language and art evolve together. (Makes me wish I were back in school, studying such phenomena.)

"So Much the Drama!"

...so said my sweetheart Kim Possible.

This weekend we took our children to a matinee musical put on by my college, a production of "Once Upon a Mattress." Two of my kids are spectators who can watch television or movies with utter attentiveness, so I knew they'd be into a play. The middle boy could care less for watching anything, but even he was into it at times. My 5 month old--well, she was a bit of a surprise. Usually she's fussy, but throughout that musical, she was happy and smiling and overall a bit smitten by the stage, I think.

Even with them wriggling and squirming and talking and wanting to go in/out...even with the embarrassment of them shouting out at inopportune times, etc...it was a magical moment. Only two of the four had seen a live production before, and even that was not the full blown theatre experience.

It was very good for them, and they are still talking about it. When we wandered the property yesterday, they were singing along and narrating their actions. Even when it seems they are not paying attention, believe me, they are! I could catch phrases and melodies from the performance, and even when it was just ad lib stuff, it was so very cool.

I hope to keep chugging down this course of exposing the kids to stuff that's good for them!

Pirates of the Caribbean

Normally, I am more-or-less immune to overtly commercial franchise products, re-imaginings of comics into film, multi-billion dollar corporate media manifestations and the like. So what sense is there in me being so very obsessed with a Disney park ride converted into a series of campy films? The franchise is nothing but a cash cow (global box office of the three films comes to over 2 billion bucks!) Is it my alleged man-crush on Johnny Depp? Is it (more likely, by my assessment) a fascination with Keira Knightley?

I cannot explain it. I cannot dismiss it, either. When people ask me that hypothetical question, "If you could meet anyone, absolutely anyone on earth from any time period, who would it be?" I am just as likely as not to say "Captain Jack Sparrow!" If I have my headphones on at work or my earbuds in at play, it's more-than-likely I'm listening to Hans Zimmer's Pirate's soundtracks (as I am at this very moment). I am looking forward to a lot of things, like the end of the semester in 73 days, 5 hours and 3 minutes, but I am especially (more than anything else) looking forward to Pirates IV, On Stranger Tides, where Barbosa and Sparrow will sail in search of the Fountain of Youth!

I think I'm always looking for a hero, and when I find one in the more unlikely places, like on the deck of a pirate ship, I am pleased.

Rediscovered: Google SketchUp

Recently, I rediscovered Google SketchUp, a cool, free tool that allows one to draw in 3d, rotate and resize, skin the image, the works. Sure it's not AutoCad or something elaborate, but hey, it's FREE. While some people could lose track of time watching television, I think I could spend days on SketchUp and never leave the chair.

If ever I generate anything worthy, I'll post it here.

It's free in Google's Labs.