We're about to take the plunge. We've been reading up on them, asking everyone we encounter, generally learning like mad...
...and now, we're poised to order ours!
I started working on a hen house over spring break, building it (as always) of recycled and reclaimed materials. I think I spent 50 hours online just researching the design ideas for that! Ours is an A-frame design with exterior nesting boxes. The floor is elevated 20 inches off the ground. I am eager to finish construction, but I am still debating where to put it.
Chicken moat--see several previous entries on this. I've wanted to do a chicken moat since the 1980's. The latest hold up has been material costs, but I finally have a good supplier on chicken wire (cheap, used, industrial grade). I finally have a stock pile of utility poles. About all I'm waiting for now is confirmation we can get along w/o a tractor tiller--once the moat is built, it would be hard to get such an implement maneuvered around in the garden.
The chickens--my kids are crazy about chicks at every farm store. I know they grow up (both chicks and kids) but I think there's lots of opportunity there. I want to get the kids excited about some kind of animal husbandry, and chickens seem like a good starter.
We've shopped around locally, combed CraigsList, visited with some who own chickens...and it's always a different story. I think ultimately we'll just get'er done, buy some and start out. If it's a failure, we'll change up.
Last I knew, we were looking at an assortment of 'exotic' chickens to complement more traditional heavy layers.
Regardless, I want chicks on the ground by Easter!
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Happy Birthday, Bill!
I missed his 80th birthday (spring break) and thus the 3rd annual "talk like Shatner day."
I just had to post this, anyway, for it's one of the better clips of him on YouTube. It's not a parody or spoof or in any other way bringing him down as an actor/performer. (There's plenty of that out there.) At any rate, you can surely hear and feel his classic Shatner delivery!
I wish I could meet him and have lunch. I think I'll add that to my bucket list!
I just had to post this, anyway, for it's one of the better clips of him on YouTube. It's not a parody or spoof or in any other way bringing him down as an actor/performer. (There's plenty of that out there.) At any rate, you can surely hear and feel his classic Shatner delivery!
I wish I could meet him and have lunch. I think I'll add that to my bucket list!
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Keeping up with the Joneses
I'm reviewing my blog here and realizing something--I'm not keeping up with my students! I've only written about 18 entries since the start of the term, while I'm demanding 3 weekly from students (about 27 to date). Fortunately, they aren't reading this journal/blog anyway, so they'll never know/care.
Keeping up with the Joneses is a problem. Comparing with others is always a problem. I suppose it can be argued that it can be healthy, motivational. On the other hand, it can be damning. One might see that someone has a shiny new house and Lexus, for example, and feel stepped on for they only have a hovel and fleet of broken-down vehicles.
The urge to keep up causes us to be rabid consumers of everything, rampant omnivores. I am guilty of this, even though I am very aware of it. Such insatiable need to feed creates in us this discontent, usually at first with our earning potential, but eventually general discontent with everything.
I have to fight to keep this in check. I'm losing the fight. My buddy is building a new house. Another one has a sweet home in a small berg nearby. Another is remodeling a groovy ranch-style home I am coveting for its efficient floor plan. Someone just tore down a cool farmhouse and homestead (see other entry) that I would have loved to have as my own...
...then again, I have a house with some history. (Part of it was built in the very early 1900's.)
It's on 11 acres, which gives us the luxury of campfires, cookouts, raging crazy parties on the property...we have the ability to raise a garden of any size we want. We can have livestock, burn trash, etc. We can learn of the prairie on the east side and develop the cropland on the west side. We virtually live on a park, a prairie reserve!
And it gives me space (without zoning laws and restrictions) to build composting areas, a hen house...even a pirate ship playground!
We also have the luxury and blessing of a multi-generational blended household, giving my kids an intimacy with their relatives that I never knew.
I need to remember such things. When the front door jams or the other door leaks rain and ants, when the vehicle breaks down (again and again), when an investment in triple A is a necessity just for the towing package, when we cannot pay all the bills for our craptaular house and fleet of beaters...I need to remember we have it good.
And I need to quit thinking of it as a competition.
That's just stinkin' thinkin' after all.
Keeping up with the Joneses is a problem. Comparing with others is always a problem. I suppose it can be argued that it can be healthy, motivational. On the other hand, it can be damning. One might see that someone has a shiny new house and Lexus, for example, and feel stepped on for they only have a hovel and fleet of broken-down vehicles.
The urge to keep up causes us to be rabid consumers of everything, rampant omnivores. I am guilty of this, even though I am very aware of it. Such insatiable need to feed creates in us this discontent, usually at first with our earning potential, but eventually general discontent with everything.
I have to fight to keep this in check. I'm losing the fight. My buddy is building a new house. Another one has a sweet home in a small berg nearby. Another is remodeling a groovy ranch-style home I am coveting for its efficient floor plan. Someone just tore down a cool farmhouse and homestead (see other entry) that I would have loved to have as my own...
...then again, I have a house with some history. (Part of it was built in the very early 1900's.)
It's on 11 acres, which gives us the luxury of campfires, cookouts, raging crazy parties on the property...we have the ability to raise a garden of any size we want. We can have livestock, burn trash, etc. We can learn of the prairie on the east side and develop the cropland on the west side. We virtually live on a park, a prairie reserve!
And it gives me space (without zoning laws and restrictions) to build composting areas, a hen house...even a pirate ship playground!
We also have the luxury and blessing of a multi-generational blended household, giving my kids an intimacy with their relatives that I never knew.
I need to remember such things. When the front door jams or the other door leaks rain and ants, when the vehicle breaks down (again and again), when an investment in triple A is a necessity just for the towing package, when we cannot pay all the bills for our craptaular house and fleet of beaters...I need to remember we have it good.
And I need to quit thinking of it as a competition.
That's just stinkin' thinkin' after all.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Sick at my Stomach
You know what makes me sick? (That's Earl Pitt's famous opening line, and I'm stealing it today.)
I cannot drive down my country road any more without being repulsed. I truly, honestly get nauseous whenever I pass by the spot where it happened. No, it's not where I hit a deer, nor where there was a grizzly accident.
Nope. Now it's nothing but more field. That is what is so disgusting to me. Now, down the road 10 miles these jokers have cut down and plowed up about 500 trees (not much of an exaggeration, if any) along a dry creek bed. They have had heavy equipment in to sculpt the land with new terraces, etc. I know what they are doing. I know why they are doing it. By eliminating the trees and creek bed they are hoping to gain a few more acres of ground to till, and by sculpting it as they have, they are likely to have a much easier time working the ground and harvesting the crops.
I say, however, that the best laid plans of mice and men Gang aft a-gley! That's right, I said "gang aft a-gley" dammit. When we first cut up the prairie with fences, it wreaked havoc with the migration patterns of many animals. This was further complicated with our infernal criss-crossing of underground petrol-product piping and blacktop roads. Now, as we bull-doze every stand of trees, what is left in the wake? Nothing but a field. That leaves little shelter for deer and other wildlife. It makes this beautiful part of the country look too much like western Kansas. Windbreaks are valuable! Here's what was offered in a KSU study, NON-AGRICULTURAL BENEFITS OF WINDBREAKS IN KANSAS:
So, down the road, I am seeing farmers plowing up trees by the hundreds. These people are no longer stewards of the land but slaves of Monsanto. Yet, I digress.
What really turns my stomach is a former homestead now-turned into another field.
This place was easily 80-100 years old. It had an impressive stand of trees surrounding what was likely 4 acres of old homestead land. There were out buildings (a barn, a chicken house, a well house) and a very impressive two-level house with big columns out front. It looked like a small abandoned plantation house from the road.
I wish I knew the history of that old house and farm. I wish I'd known the people who'd lived there, who'd built the place. I wish I had some way to travel back in time and watch the property evolve. Hell, I wish I'd stopped and wandered the property one of the thousand times I have driven by and thought about it.
I grieve for this old place. To me, places hold memories, maybe even ghosts. To destroy them for factory farming is a heinous and criminal act. Where I grew up, every tree was rare and sacred. I'm not tree hugging fairy nymph, either; don't get me wrong. I'm just offering that by slaying 100+ year old trees we're disrespecting our elders. We're spitting in the eye of mother nature. We're pissing away some great shade, wood, possibly walnuts. To bull-doze it all with utter disregard for its worth is disgusting.
I am thoroughly disgusted....so on that, I shall return to my regularly scheduled programming.
__________________________
Details on the phrase, found here:
Meaning: The most carefully prepared plans may go wrong.
Origin: "of mice and men"
From Robert Burns' poem To a Mouse, 1786.
It tells of how he, while ploughing a field, upturned a mouse's nest. The resulting poem is an apology to the mouse:
...
But, Mousie, thou art no thy lane [you aren't alone]
In proving foresight may be vain:
The best laid schemes o' mice an' men
Gang aft a-gley, [often go awry]
An' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain,
For promised joy.
...
The poem is of course the source for the title of John Steinbeck's 1937 novel - Of Mice and Men.
I cannot drive down my country road any more without being repulsed. I truly, honestly get nauseous whenever I pass by the spot where it happened. No, it's not where I hit a deer, nor where there was a grizzly accident.
Nope. Now it's nothing but more field. That is what is so disgusting to me. Now, down the road 10 miles these jokers have cut down and plowed up about 500 trees (not much of an exaggeration, if any) along a dry creek bed. They have had heavy equipment in to sculpt the land with new terraces, etc. I know what they are doing. I know why they are doing it. By eliminating the trees and creek bed they are hoping to gain a few more acres of ground to till, and by sculpting it as they have, they are likely to have a much easier time working the ground and harvesting the crops.
I say, however, that the best laid plans of mice and men Gang aft a-gley! That's right, I said "gang aft a-gley" dammit. When we first cut up the prairie with fences, it wreaked havoc with the migration patterns of many animals. This was further complicated with our infernal criss-crossing of underground petrol-product piping and blacktop roads. Now, as we bull-doze every stand of trees, what is left in the wake? Nothing but a field. That leaves little shelter for deer and other wildlife. It makes this beautiful part of the country look too much like western Kansas. Windbreaks are valuable! Here's what was offered in a KSU study, NON-AGRICULTURAL BENEFITS OF WINDBREAKS IN KANSAS:
"Windbreaks may provide recreational opportunities, scenic beauty, fuelwood, and wildlife habitat in addition to agricultural benefits. Quantitative studies demonstrate that windbreaks on the Great Plains provides important wildlife habitat for woodland edge species, substantial opportunities for recreation, a potentially important source of fuelwood, and enhanced scenic beauty."And this is to say nothing of erosion control.
So, down the road, I am seeing farmers plowing up trees by the hundreds. These people are no longer stewards of the land but slaves of Monsanto. Yet, I digress.
What really turns my stomach is a former homestead now-turned into another field.
This place was easily 80-100 years old. It had an impressive stand of trees surrounding what was likely 4 acres of old homestead land. There were out buildings (a barn, a chicken house, a well house) and a very impressive two-level house with big columns out front. It looked like a small abandoned plantation house from the road.
I wish I knew the history of that old house and farm. I wish I'd known the people who'd lived there, who'd built the place. I wish I had some way to travel back in time and watch the property evolve. Hell, I wish I'd stopped and wandered the property one of the thousand times I have driven by and thought about it.
I grieve for this old place. To me, places hold memories, maybe even ghosts. To destroy them for factory farming is a heinous and criminal act. Where I grew up, every tree was rare and sacred. I'm not tree hugging fairy nymph, either; don't get me wrong. I'm just offering that by slaying 100+ year old trees we're disrespecting our elders. We're spitting in the eye of mother nature. We're pissing away some great shade, wood, possibly walnuts. To bull-doze it all with utter disregard for its worth is disgusting.
I am thoroughly disgusted....so on that, I shall return to my regularly scheduled programming.
__________________________
Details on the phrase, found here:
Meaning: The most carefully prepared plans may go wrong.
Origin: "of mice and men"
From Robert Burns' poem To a Mouse, 1786.
It tells of how he, while ploughing a field, upturned a mouse's nest. The resulting poem is an apology to the mouse:
...
But, Mousie, thou art no thy lane [you aren't alone]
In proving foresight may be vain:
The best laid schemes o' mice an' men
Gang aft a-gley, [often go awry]
An' lea'e us nought but grief an' pain,
For promised joy.
...
The poem is of course the source for the title of John Steinbeck's 1937 novel - Of Mice and Men.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Bombing
While I was ramping up for spring break and missing St. Pats parties, while I was troubled over the hardships of the Japanese and worried about the economy, something entirely new happened in the blink of an eye.
We declared a no-fly zone, chased by air strikes of Libyan 'strongholds.'
How is it that the UN arrives at such decisions, that the US is so heavily involved, and then it all happens in a heart beat? I need to pay much more attention to the news. I had heard that aircraft carriers were deployed a week or so ago, and that seemed puzzling then, but I shrugged it off. I'd heard people say that we seemed more responsive to Libya than we ever did to other parts of Africa where casualties were over a million! I'd come to understand that national sentiment regarding Libyan leadership was as unstable as their leaders....
...but another 'war front' just astounds me!
I am too uninformed to offer much more than my astonishment, but I am willing to go on record that I'm very, very troubled by it. I don't know that it was the right thing to jump ahead like this in Libya. I'm unsure of too much right now, and I imagine too many others range from unsure to "welp, the UN decided it, so it must be good." I would wager far too many of us are either ignorant or in denial.
Such people are an easy mark.
We declared a no-fly zone, chased by air strikes of Libyan 'strongholds.'
How is it that the UN arrives at such decisions, that the US is so heavily involved, and then it all happens in a heart beat? I need to pay much more attention to the news. I had heard that aircraft carriers were deployed a week or so ago, and that seemed puzzling then, but I shrugged it off. I'd heard people say that we seemed more responsive to Libya than we ever did to other parts of Africa where casualties were over a million! I'd come to understand that national sentiment regarding Libyan leadership was as unstable as their leaders....
...but another 'war front' just astounds me!
I am too uninformed to offer much more than my astonishment, but I am willing to go on record that I'm very, very troubled by it. I don't know that it was the right thing to jump ahead like this in Libya. I'm unsure of too much right now, and I imagine too many others range from unsure to "welp, the UN decided it, so it must be good." I would wager far too many of us are either ignorant or in denial.
Such people are an easy mark.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Parkour
Parkour (aka free-running) intrigues me. It seems to be mad running and jumping and traversing all terrains, in a no holds barred fashion. Growing up, we used to do this. We called it 'run like hell.'
I like it because it's non-competitive, it uses no gear(not even a uniform), it is an active sport (no spectators here), and it's a little edgy. (I guess in some cities, they are trying to outlaw it...of course.)
This video is a great look at it.
One could also watch the documentary Jump|London.
I'm thinking the boys and I are going to romp all over the farm with greater intention, now that it's recognized as a sport.
I like it because it's non-competitive, it uses no gear(not even a uniform), it is an active sport (no spectators here), and it's a little edgy. (I guess in some cities, they are trying to outlaw it...of course.)
This video is a great look at it.
One could also watch the documentary Jump|London.
I'm thinking the boys and I are going to romp all over the farm with greater intention, now that it's recognized as a sport.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
Bucket List
I cannot find a bucket list on this blog, and it's something that I've done a dozen times. For the record, I thought I'd share something of one, off the top of my head:
Places to go...this is a big list by itself
- become fluent in multiple languages
- take comparative religions course/study group
- skydive
- master harmonica or banjo or drums or something musical
- publish quality novels
- finish my pirate ship
Places to go...this is a big list by itself
- tour USA in RV
- vacation in Hawaii
- tour castles in Europe
- take kids to Disney land/world
- spelunking in Viet Nam
- see Victoria Falls, Africa
- visit the great pyramids of Egypt
- be Indiana Jones on some ruins in a rain forest
- tour some country I've learned the language for
- swim in every ocean
Tuesday, March 08, 2011
To Do List
So, friends, it's almost spring. For some, that means sweeping the porch or cleaning out closets. For me it means gearing up for gardening. We are mapping our garden out this year being conscientious of sun patterns, of irrigation, and of....chickens.
We are going to build a hen house, fence in parts of the garden to allow chickens, other fencing to thwart chickens from scratching up and destroying tender young plants.
I've long admired the full-blown chicken moat (promised to build last summer, but...chickened out). It's too ambitious and too expensive for me right now, I think.
I am all about using found/available materials, and it so happens I have many hog panels and a good long run of chain link fence (albeit, only 3-4 ft high) that I could employ. I have a great little out building that would make an awesome hen house and garden supply shed, but I don't know if it can be relocated (might be easier to build new).
So much to do, so little time.
I seem to be one of those people who's always overwhelmed, even when there's seemingly nothing to do. I recall a time in life when there was nothing undone, nothing to do, when I could just kick back and bask in the limbo of nothingness. I wonder if one ever, ever gets caught up any more. ???
We are going to build a hen house, fence in parts of the garden to allow chickens, other fencing to thwart chickens from scratching up and destroying tender young plants.
I've long admired the full-blown chicken moat (promised to build last summer, but...chickened out). It's too ambitious and too expensive for me right now, I think.
I am all about using found/available materials, and it so happens I have many hog panels and a good long run of chain link fence (albeit, only 3-4 ft high) that I could employ. I have a great little out building that would make an awesome hen house and garden supply shed, but I don't know if it can be relocated (might be easier to build new).
So much to do, so little time.
I seem to be one of those people who's always overwhelmed, even when there's seemingly nothing to do. I recall a time in life when there was nothing undone, nothing to do, when I could just kick back and bask in the limbo of nothingness. I wonder if one ever, ever gets caught up any more. ???
Sunday, March 06, 2011
Tuesday, March 01, 2011
Slowly, Intentionally
I admire my father-in-law, the Karate blackbelt. He knows how to sit, to meditate.
None of my kids know how to sit, period. They can squirm, and they can run, but they only stop moving to sleep (well, and sometimes to veg out in front of the television if I am not there to police their activity).
We watched a great documentary in my English class, PBS's Frontline piece, Digital Nation. One alarming claim of the film is that we are going so fast, so frantically busy, that we are not learning deeply and fully any more.
I wonder about this. I worry about this. I mean, here I am a proponent of all-things-digital, yet maybe I'm doing the students a disservice? Maybe I'm corrupting my own children, too?
Maybe I'm just enamored with all this digital stuff because it's shiny. Novel. Fun. It would be a terrible thing if I had fallen for the trap, fallen down the rabbit hole, and found myself swimming in the Kool-aid. (BTW: it was actually Flavor-Aid, for the record.) Ugh. If all these bells and whistles--which to me seem to streamline and improve research and writing--if they're really making us more shallow, then, like, wow.
Honestly, I do see the potential for immediately gratifying content to corrupt us. I know that I've even wanted to Google the whereabouts of my own keys (or on a true absent-minded professor day, my car itself). It's easier not to think, to just have access, but to really access the content I'm attempting to lead students into, one must think. One must be patient and diligent. I am now struggling with the question of whether or not this can be taught. Can one teach patient research to anxious youth? Can one teach a struggling community college student to let go of everything else and simply think a while? Can they let go of dollars and cents, familial woes, pressures of school, work, and family--just to entertain an idea? Can they feed that idea and take it for a walk? Can they roll around a word on the tongue just to feel it at play?
Some days I am not so sure.
None of my kids know how to sit, period. They can squirm, and they can run, but they only stop moving to sleep (well, and sometimes to veg out in front of the television if I am not there to police their activity).
We watched a great documentary in my English class, PBS's Frontline piece, Digital Nation. One alarming claim of the film is that we are going so fast, so frantically busy, that we are not learning deeply and fully any more.
I wonder about this. I worry about this. I mean, here I am a proponent of all-things-digital, yet maybe I'm doing the students a disservice? Maybe I'm corrupting my own children, too?
Maybe I'm just enamored with all this digital stuff because it's shiny. Novel. Fun. It would be a terrible thing if I had fallen for the trap, fallen down the rabbit hole, and found myself swimming in the Kool-aid. (BTW: it was actually Flavor-Aid, for the record.) Ugh. If all these bells and whistles--which to me seem to streamline and improve research and writing--if they're really making us more shallow, then, like, wow.
Honestly, I do see the potential for immediately gratifying content to corrupt us. I know that I've even wanted to Google the whereabouts of my own keys (or on a true absent-minded professor day, my car itself). It's easier not to think, to just have access, but to really access the content I'm attempting to lead students into, one must think. One must be patient and diligent. I am now struggling with the question of whether or not this can be taught. Can one teach patient research to anxious youth? Can one teach a struggling community college student to let go of everything else and simply think a while? Can they let go of dollars and cents, familial woes, pressures of school, work, and family--just to entertain an idea? Can they feed that idea and take it for a walk? Can they roll around a word on the tongue just to feel it at play?
Some days I am not so sure.
Thursday, February 24, 2011
75 hours
I ask that every student of mine to come and spend 30 minutes with me in the office this semester. By the time they all come through the door, I'll have invested about 75 hours into student appointments this term, the most ever I've attempted here at BCC. Back at the other school, I probably had more student face time than anyone there, but then I lived and breathed student engagement (maybe a little too much, since I married one, eh?)
But seriously, this has been an enormous undertaking, when it should be the simplest of things: "hey, let's jaw around about your paper, topic, life..." I've had many people ask me why I am dedicated to this, when I could just be grading (or for that matter, reading, surfing the net...writing a blog--ahem!).
I explain it like this: I think it's very, very important to know who you are learning with (and I intentionally aim this both ways, for we're both learning in a meeting one on one). I'm learning about them, their learning styles, interests, strengths and weaknesses academically, but even more, I'm learning who they are. I'm learning how to better serve them, I think.
I also require a journal of my composition students, 3 100 word entries per week, roughly. Sure, there's kicking and screaming, but it has tremendous dividends for the student (of course, or I would not assign it). It's also very valuable to me, to again get to know my clients, my students.
I cannot put a finger on how all this knowledge plays out in the classroom, in grading, in pedagogy overall. I could never write a paper about it or prove it empirically, but I am sure it's having a positive effect.
But seriously, this has been an enormous undertaking, when it should be the simplest of things: "hey, let's jaw around about your paper, topic, life..." I've had many people ask me why I am dedicated to this, when I could just be grading (or for that matter, reading, surfing the net...writing a blog--ahem!).
I explain it like this: I think it's very, very important to know who you are learning with (and I intentionally aim this both ways, for we're both learning in a meeting one on one). I'm learning about them, their learning styles, interests, strengths and weaknesses academically, but even more, I'm learning who they are. I'm learning how to better serve them, I think.
I also require a journal of my composition students, 3 100 word entries per week, roughly. Sure, there's kicking and screaming, but it has tremendous dividends for the student (of course, or I would not assign it). It's also very valuable to me, to again get to know my clients, my students.
I cannot put a finger on how all this knowledge plays out in the classroom, in grading, in pedagogy overall. I could never write a paper about it or prove it empirically, but I am sure it's having a positive effect.
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Can't have it both ways...
SO, I'm something of a person of extremes. Oh, I'm open minded about most things, not inclined to polarized rants much....but in lifestyle and pattern, I tend to run hot or cold. I am one to be all out, in deep, 100% into something.
I suppose that sounds good, as if it suggested a degree of focus, a mindset of discipline, a forthrightness that is all-Kansas.
On the other hand, the ugly misshapen hand of truth, here's what happens to me: I get so far to an extreme it's hard to switch it up, to regroup, to reconfigure, to clock out. If, for instance, I were a mercenary, I would not know my bounds, and I might knock some one off in expression of my road rage. If I were a person of the cloth, I would not be able to reach the level of purity and intimacy with my deity that seemed The Right Place to be.
And so it is with work. I can run white hot for work, burning the proverbial candle in a blast furnace frenzy of focused labor. OR, I can be unplugged at home, not even checking email for days at a time, just building stuff, playing with kids, loving home (this extreme has only recently been learned and appreciated, say, in the last 5 years).
Unfortunately, it is VERY HARD for me to switch gears. When the new semester starts, I am now finding myself like a bear coming out of hibernation (at least in the winter) or like one of those groggy people who are just not morning people (I still cannot understand them!). I go through motions, but it takes me days and days to get my game on, to charge up my workforce engines.
And, alas, now that I'm fully engaged, I'm finding it VERY HARD to go home at night. Oh, I know it's where I'd rather be, that all this work is just what I do so that I can have a home and pay the bills....but it's extremely difficult for me to disconnect, to let it go, to leave work at work.
Why is that?
Used to be, I had a job that was something of a calling, a Mission. I was leading people out of apathy, helping to do my little part to save the world through service, to burn as purely altruistic as I could. That job, of course, was impossible to leave at work, for it was a lifestyle.
But now? grading papers and designing course content? I have a hard time pulling back from it, for I know that if I do, it's just going to be that much harder tomorrow to get back up in the saddle again. I will lose hours to ramping up, when I could otherwise just stay at it a few more hours...
...but I'd rather be home (in my heart of hearts) regardless of the lost time and inefficiency of retooling and warming up to it again. The reward of home and hearth and loved ones is much more powerful.
So, I go.
I suppose that sounds good, as if it suggested a degree of focus, a mindset of discipline, a forthrightness that is all-Kansas.
On the other hand, the ugly misshapen hand of truth, here's what happens to me: I get so far to an extreme it's hard to switch it up, to regroup, to reconfigure, to clock out. If, for instance, I were a mercenary, I would not know my bounds, and I might knock some one off in expression of my road rage. If I were a person of the cloth, I would not be able to reach the level of purity and intimacy with my deity that seemed The Right Place to be.
And so it is with work. I can run white hot for work, burning the proverbial candle in a blast furnace frenzy of focused labor. OR, I can be unplugged at home, not even checking email for days at a time, just building stuff, playing with kids, loving home (this extreme has only recently been learned and appreciated, say, in the last 5 years).
Unfortunately, it is VERY HARD for me to switch gears. When the new semester starts, I am now finding myself like a bear coming out of hibernation (at least in the winter) or like one of those groggy people who are just not morning people (I still cannot understand them!). I go through motions, but it takes me days and days to get my game on, to charge up my workforce engines.
And, alas, now that I'm fully engaged, I'm finding it VERY HARD to go home at night. Oh, I know it's where I'd rather be, that all this work is just what I do so that I can have a home and pay the bills....but it's extremely difficult for me to disconnect, to let it go, to leave work at work.
Why is that?
Used to be, I had a job that was something of a calling, a Mission. I was leading people out of apathy, helping to do my little part to save the world through service, to burn as purely altruistic as I could. That job, of course, was impossible to leave at work, for it was a lifestyle.
But now? grading papers and designing course content? I have a hard time pulling back from it, for I know that if I do, it's just going to be that much harder tomorrow to get back up in the saddle again. I will lose hours to ramping up, when I could otherwise just stay at it a few more hours...
...but I'd rather be home (in my heart of hearts) regardless of the lost time and inefficiency of retooling and warming up to it again. The reward of home and hearth and loved ones is much more powerful.
So, I go.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Polysyllabic
Here are some of the polysyllabic words and phrases from my list of words (yes, I jot down words that tickle my tongue or otherwise have some added-value to me):
Licorice Limelight
Post bottom Water-logged
Wig-Wam Paddyshack
Tailspin
Circumference
Shanty town
Uber-goober
Groundswell
Earth-shaking
Hinterlands
Underbelly
Barn swallow
Bin-buster
Licorice Limelight
Post bottom Water-logged
Wig-Wam Paddyshack
Tailspin
Circumference
Shanty town
Uber-goober
Groundswell
Earth-shaking
Hinterlands
Underbelly
Barn swallow
Bin-buster
Saturday, February 19, 2011
Beat Down
Hat hair
Matted grass
Shelter/rescue dogs
I am likewise beat down.
It doesn't matter how hard, how many days, how many weekend hours--I cannot seem to scale the pile of work I have to do.
I know, boo-hoo, right?
I've no answer to the problem. I've written about it many times in the past 4 years, I'm sure. This time, however, it's really wearing on me. I'd go see a shrink but that costs more time and money--and that, again, is the root of this entire problem.
So, shrink--out.
Therapeutic catharsis by way of....
Sleep, the elixir that calms my spirit. Sleep in bliss, in ignorance--alas, that's just denial, and when I wake, I know this and feel EVEN WORSE.
So, one might ask, what exactly am I doing blogging? How is this any better than 1-8, above? Well, it's not. In fact, maybe it's worse, because it's public. Dumb idea, huh?
Regardless, here I sit, beat down.
Stalemate.
Stagnate...
Ugh--I gotta do something!
This morning at 430 when I left for work, I was of the old school workaholic plan that led me through a dark decade past. My thinking: I will work through this (literally) by applying nose to grind stone until done. Enough pressure, over enough time, applied to said stone should smush it into submission.
I mean, surely it could all be done, right, even if for only a moment (like laundry or housework).
Maybe it would be different if it paid better. As-is, this job is too often paying about like laundry or housework! Oh well, at least I have a house, right?
Matted grass
Shelter/rescue dogs
I am likewise beat down.
It doesn't matter how hard, how many days, how many weekend hours--I cannot seem to scale the pile of work I have to do.
I know, boo-hoo, right?
I've no answer to the problem. I've written about it many times in the past 4 years, I'm sure. This time, however, it's really wearing on me. I'd go see a shrink but that costs more time and money--and that, again, is the root of this entire problem.
So, shrink--out.
Therapeutic catharsis by way of....
- exercise (you must be kidding)
- creative writing (at the same keyboard I should be grading from, so...no)
- nature hike (winter, ugh!)
- shopping (see money, above)
- web-surfing (see creative writing, #4 above)
- kids (guilty about not working)
- grilling (guilty about not working)
- sleep? ahhhhh, there it is!
Sleep, the elixir that calms my spirit. Sleep in bliss, in ignorance--alas, that's just denial, and when I wake, I know this and feel EVEN WORSE.
So, one might ask, what exactly am I doing blogging? How is this any better than 1-8, above? Well, it's not. In fact, maybe it's worse, because it's public. Dumb idea, huh?
Regardless, here I sit, beat down.
Stalemate.
Stagnate...
Ugh--I gotta do something!
This morning at 430 when I left for work, I was of the old school workaholic plan that led me through a dark decade past. My thinking: I will work through this (literally) by applying nose to grind stone until done. Enough pressure, over enough time, applied to said stone should smush it into submission.
I mean, surely it could all be done, right, even if for only a moment (like laundry or housework).
Maybe it would be different if it paid better. As-is, this job is too often paying about like laundry or housework! Oh well, at least I have a house, right?
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
The Guild
I am amused and engaged by a web series, The Guild. I have been rationing my episodes, for there are only 4 seasons of the show available (and it would consume me if I let it, like all my other viewing obsessions kept at bay). As they describe the show: A comedy web series about a group of online gamers, and how they interact online and offline. Winner of they YouTube and Yahoo best web series awards in 2008, winner of three Streamy Awards in 2009. It's a comedy written for gamers, about gamers, by a gamer. Plus it stars Felicia Day, and that alone makes for great screen time.
The show features obsessive gamers who come to interact in RL encounters they sometimes regret. One character in the show haunts me: Clara. This is the SAHM who is more into cyberspace than parenting. Of course, the show's rendition of this is over-the-top, but it resonates with me. Sometimes I may check my email or do some work online when my kids are standing by, impatiently waiting to play, etc. I want to always make flesh and blood priority over ones and zeros. At times it is difficult, for RL encounters are messy and cannot be turned off readily--and that, of course, is the point of The Guild.
Pick this episode up at about 4min in to see Clara interact with her kids:
Give it a view and review it here, too!
The show features obsessive gamers who come to interact in RL encounters they sometimes regret. One character in the show haunts me: Clara. This is the SAHM who is more into cyberspace than parenting. Of course, the show's rendition of this is over-the-top, but it resonates with me. Sometimes I may check my email or do some work online when my kids are standing by, impatiently waiting to play, etc. I want to always make flesh and blood priority over ones and zeros. At times it is difficult, for RL encounters are messy and cannot be turned off readily--and that, of course, is the point of The Guild.
Pick this episode up at about 4min in to see Clara interact with her kids:
Give it a view and review it here, too!
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Peas in a Pod
My wife and I spent a romantic weekend in a bed and breakfast. For us, it would have been romantic to simply be able to converse uninterrupted (we have 4 kids) and in private (we also have 3 other adults living in our house). We were able to have free-flowing, unobstructed dialogue (the B&B was virtually unplugged, too, a reconstituted 1880's hotel, rooms were sans wifi, TV, etc.) for hours!
A result of all that is not the happy conception of yet another child.
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Instead, we were able to compare notes on some life goals, and we were able to learn that we are, even after nearly a decade, both on the same page. In fact, we were very close on our goals, virtually synchronized. We also were able to learn each others priorities anew, too. I, for instance, did not know she still wanted to get a degree; she did not realize how very important it is to me to build onto the house.
People need time and space. Married people need some of that together. We very seldom (quarterly, semi-annually) get time like that. It was the best Valentine's gift EVER.
A result of all that is not the happy conception of yet another child.
Not that there's anything wrong with that.
Instead, we were able to compare notes on some life goals, and we were able to learn that we are, even after nearly a decade, both on the same page. In fact, we were very close on our goals, virtually synchronized. We also were able to learn each others priorities anew, too. I, for instance, did not know she still wanted to get a degree; she did not realize how very important it is to me to build onto the house.
People need time and space. Married people need some of that together. We very seldom (quarterly, semi-annually) get time like that. It was the best Valentine's gift EVER.
Wednesday, February 09, 2011
White Out
Why the blog blackout? Two weeks w/o a post?
I blame it on the snow, the white out. The snow as complicated my life with the burden of snow days. On the work front, that has meant reconfiguring things (takes time). On the home front that has meant playing in the snow, shoveling snow, navigating snow (all take extra time). Snow has amplified the cabin fever everyone in my house suffers from, too.
Thus, all these other factors have overwhelmed my time remaining for blogging, reading blogs, catching up on bookmarks, organizing my computer files, etc...
...and now, another snow day!
Let me clarify: I am not unhappy about a snow day. No way!
So what--I have spent time differently. It's a way I spend time in the winter that is exclusively a winter investment. Nothing to be grumbling too much about, especially when this summer I'll be battling weeds and swiping sweat from my eyes.
Snow is fun, even when shoveling it. Perhaps this is that it remains a novelty here, compared to MN or somewhere that it is a 6 month long hardship.
Not everyone gets a snow day, so yet again, I am grateful for my line of work. 3 months off in the summer, a month off in winter, a week off for spring break....and a snow day now and again! Yippee for me (and my fellow educators, who know that all this 'time off' is not really, entirely 'off' too often).
I'm going to embrace this day like I do leap day, consider it a bonus, something even more special than vacation or weekends or the rare 'personal' day. I'll do somethings differently today, and I'll hope to make the most of every moment.
Hope it snows where you are, and that you, too, can make this day special.
I blame it on the snow, the white out. The snow as complicated my life with the burden of snow days. On the work front, that has meant reconfiguring things (takes time). On the home front that has meant playing in the snow, shoveling snow, navigating snow (all take extra time). Snow has amplified the cabin fever everyone in my house suffers from, too.
Thus, all these other factors have overwhelmed my time remaining for blogging, reading blogs, catching up on bookmarks, organizing my computer files, etc...
...and now, another snow day!
Let me clarify: I am not unhappy about a snow day. No way!
So what--I have spent time differently. It's a way I spend time in the winter that is exclusively a winter investment. Nothing to be grumbling too much about, especially when this summer I'll be battling weeds and swiping sweat from my eyes.
Snow is fun, even when shoveling it. Perhaps this is that it remains a novelty here, compared to MN or somewhere that it is a 6 month long hardship.
Not everyone gets a snow day, so yet again, I am grateful for my line of work. 3 months off in the summer, a month off in winter, a week off for spring break....and a snow day now and again! Yippee for me (and my fellow educators, who know that all this 'time off' is not really, entirely 'off' too often).
I'm going to embrace this day like I do leap day, consider it a bonus, something even more special than vacation or weekends or the rare 'personal' day. I'll do somethings differently today, and I'll hope to make the most of every moment.
Hope it snows where you are, and that you, too, can make this day special.
Tuesday, January 25, 2011
Balance
One of my favorite videos to discuss:
My discussion of this will follow after my students wrestle with it.
My discussion of this will follow after my students wrestle with it.
Thursday, January 20, 2011
Life/Art "Low Rider"
I am listening to "Low Rider" by War, right now, moments before class. It's one of the songs on my Get Psyched to Teach playlist.
I bring this up only to mention that I was listening to this song for motivation years before Memphis Raines (Nicholas Cage) was even a character in Gone in 60 Seconds, well, the 2000 version, anyway.
I bring this up only to mention that I was listening to this song for motivation years before Memphis Raines (Nicholas Cage) was even a character in Gone in 60 Seconds, well, the 2000 version, anyway.
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