Sometimes I act more like an anthropologist than a parent.
I find the interaction between my kids and their environment to be amazing. It's equally marvelous watching them interact with one-another.
There are times, however, when I must intervene. One of them will be jumping up and down on the other's stomach, or they will be torturing the beagle, or they may get a little crazy with the Christmas lights...it's a daily challenge.
For me, the challenge is to step up and be the parent.
I really am torn on this. I notice how my 5 yr old is radically different than he was at 2 or 4, and I realize often that I've influenced his changes. He will sit quietly until a commercial now, when before he had no regard for television programming. He apologizes for farts, burps and other bodily functions that he used to revel in. He is introspective and self-loathing sometimes; other times he instructs his brothers in the ways of the world--ways I wish no one had to learn, like to beware of bullies in the play place or to question the department store Santa.
I wish I was not in the role of parent, for I often regret having enlightened my sons. I really do wish we could talk with animals or fly to the moon. I wish uncle would come play for unlimited hours and that we would not need to sleep--ever. I wish it was possible to live on a diet of pop and PBJ's.
Alas, I am all-too-often the voice of sensibility, the harbinger of hard times, bringing the reality check. "No, you can't eat the Play-dough; it might make you sick."
If I stop and think about it for too long, I can get VERY GLOOMY. To chronicle and catalog every instance of dampening their spirits--now that's depressing.
Of course, there seems no alternative. If I did not remind them to put on their shoes, they might catch cold outside. If I were to let them believe everyone on earth will love and befriend them, then sooner or later, they'll get their noses bloodied. It's my job to 'look out' for them and give them direction and advice.
It's the toughest job I've every had.
1 comment:
The very fact that you are worrying about the impact you're having on your sons' development tells me that you are a thoughtful and caring parent.
You're right. It's an incredibly hard job...and the hardest part, for me, was not truly getting full feedback on the job I was doing for 20 years or so!
That, and the fact that everytime I figured out what I was doing with one child at one stage, s/he'd moved onto the next stage. And my kids were never alike in how they tackled each stage of growing up.
Good luck, and keep up the good work.
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