Oh...where was I? Yes...Apnea.
Recently I posted that I was to undergo a "sleep study" measuring my potential for sleep apnea. The results are now in! My specialist said I had 90 "incidents" in 180 minutes, meaning I would wake every two minutes, on average. Thus, according to science, I never slept, at least not in a restorative sleep. I've been severely sleep deprived, and I did not even realize it.
They're fitting me for some mechanism (see Rube Goldberg images in my head, something with a series of pulleys, knobs, ramps, dominoes...maybe a rubber chicken) to force air into my pipes.
I have some initial problems with this:
- Breathing--it's natural. So if 1/3rd of my life is forced air, what if I get lazy lungs? What if I have them now, and they get more lazy? The doc explained some kind of thermostat for blood oxygen that is wacky in me. The waking hours of my life, these times when I see spots and suddenly, consciously say, "Gee, I need to breathe," are not going to be helped any by forced air at night.
- Frightening others--I will sound and look more like Darth Vader. That may terrify my youngest, but my oldest son will probably want a CPAP of his own.
- What about when The System, the grid, civilization as we know it, goes crashing down. I was never that addicted to electricity, but if I depend upon it to sleep...what then?
- Flatulence is caused by swallowing air more than anything else, from gulping when eating to talking too breathy. (This fact makes me wonder about my dog hanging his head out the car window--does that make him gassy?) People claim I am windy enough, so how is forcing lots more air into me going to be a good thing?
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